from my view point

After I left the game last night, traffic turned into a nightmare. A nightmare full of WWE fans. I knew they were fans of the fake because they were all walking out of the Toyota Center with their chests blown up and humongous gold belts across their shoulder. Then I saw the truck that said WWE.

I observed a grown man hitting on a woman last night at the game. He came to watch the Astros, she came for the Rangers. 5th inning she was wearing his Astros hat, he was booing umpire calls that were in favor of the Astros. 6th and 7th innings they were no where to be seen. Top of the 8th they return together and she was still wearing the Astros hat and he cheered for both teams. Ballgame! she left with his hat, he chased her down.

I got to work super early this morning and it started to rain. My umbrella is very small and my pants still got wet. I considered calling in sick but I continued my unsatisfying walk through the parking lot to my building.

Some peon just emailed me, "Could you send a pic of the ent center." I replied, "Could you use proper English?"

At which Lake were the 1980 Winter Olympic held?

Last entry's answer was Radio City Music Hall.

rocket science

This entry would have been done about three hours earlier but for some reason I was given work to do.

I am an aerospace engineer. Most people consider that to be a position of a genius, mastering the problems of the universe. But no, I'm a rocket scientist that works for the Army National Guard, ever improving my online game skills, except those at Yahoo! bingo. Just yesterday I played the number one top game on addictinggames.com, Bloons, for a good portion of the afternoon. As I conquered the balloon popping adventure I earned about $30 which is generously given to me by the government in the form of a paycheck. It wasn't easily earned though. I had to sleep on level 47, but by 7:45 a.m. this morning I added my name to the list of champions. This is walking on the moon compared to that of the past three weeks. Week one: sat in a chair with two arm rest that swivled while watching the clock change minutes. Week two: found the feature on my chair that allowed it to adjust the height and dominated the four demo games on my phone. Week three: dominated ipod games, read the industrial outdoor furniture magazine twice, and filed four pieces of paper.

Rocket Science
1. Informal. An endeavor requiring great intelligence or technical ability.
2. Formal Office Conversation. Humor about the temporary aerospace employee doing elementary tasks in the work space.

Here at the office I'm the new guy, temporary employee to be exact. "Hey Matt, copy this, Matt put this in the computer, Matt come tie my shoe." Sounds annoying and it really is. These tasks always come while I'm in the middle of sinking a putt three under par or about to score a bingo with one chip to go. One day this aerospace engineer (not aeronautical engineer) is going to spit fire. But I do need to give fellow employees a little more credit for raising my spirits when the tasks seem to get slightly more difficult. They just remind me that it isn't rocket science. "Hey rocket scientist, should I take this raise or not?" "Can you refill the stapler rocket scientist?"

Kate: Hydrogen and Oxygen were sitting in a bar having a drink. Gold walked in and Hydrogen said Au, get outta here.
- John Tucker Must Die

What state consumes the most SPAM yearly?