this blog has turned into bathroom humor, sorry

It's official. Some suit and tie just asked me where the nearest bathroom was. It's bathroom in the professional world. Take that restroom.

Still feeling sickish but still keeping on. Nothing can hold me back. Today I must keep on keeping on. Nothing's gonna stop me. She's pretty.

Went to the O.A.R. concert last night. Even though my throat hurt, I sang loud enough for 2-3 people in front of me to hear. It might have been the second best concert I have been to all year. Thank you O.A.R. for rocking the world. It was amazing.

I keep drinking water to rid the sick taste in my mouth. This has resulted in many trips to the bathroom. It is becoming quite annoying. I wish we had the family bathroom like at the movies. The one with only one toilet and sink. Instead, since that luxury doesn't exist here, I put an "Out of Order" sign on my favorite stall. Works like a charm.

I had a very embarrassing moment the other day. Someone came into the bathroom while I was, you know, doing my business. Anyways, it sounded like high heels were walking around and entered the number one stall. Being that I'm curious like a cat, I had to take a peek. I slowly lowered my head down below the bottom of the stall wall to see what was up with these shoes. Then to my surprise, he was taking a peek too. We stared at each other face to face for what seemed like eternity. What do you say in this situation? Or do you say nothing at all? After a brief 3 minute shocking stare I quickly raised my head and composed myself. Holy crap! Do quickly finish up and hope he's not a john runner or do I wait it out and hope he leaves before me. I made a wise decision and darted out of there as soon as possible. I'll never forget that face. Luckily, I haven't seen it since. Now, the sounds of high heels walking down the hall scare me.

Stink is here today. I thought my nose was stopped up but I was wrong.

What was the occupation of cotton candy machine inventor William James Morrison?

Last entry's answer was William Wallace.

shower games

There's one guy here at work that always speaks to me at the wrong time, and thank goodness it's only one. The only time I see Mr. Awkward is in the bathroom. Carrying on conversations in the bathroom is not the way to strike up a friendship. It smells, I want to get in and get out as fast as possible. No, Mr. Awkward has to talk about the day, ask where I'm from, and then inform me on the recent weather trends in the greater Houston area. First .2 second pause in his speech and I'm outta here. Crap, he caught me, during the exit I had to hold the door open because he continued to talk. Let me do my business and leave. I'm certain there's a Man Law against saying more than three words in the bathroom. "Sup?" You're done, end of conversation, no eye contact required.

It blows my mind at how old astronauts are. We're sizing some up in the lab and they practically hobble in on walkers and wheelchairs. Umm, are you going to be able to float around during that space walk without having a cramp or heart attack? Their hair better not fall out in my suit. Haven't quite understood why they can't be good looking either. Requirement to be an astronaut: Old and homely looking.

Am I a geek?

I tried to play basketball in the shower last night. Empty body wash bottle, glass door, trashcan, basketball season. Add all those together and you get the final shot in the last 1.4 seconds of the championship game, down by 2. Size up the shot...aim...shoot. Brick! I lose. I blame it on still having tight muscles from the work out. Yeah, that's it. I'll never work out again when the body wash is getting low.

Why is "Picture of Matt" dominating the Christmas poll? I mean come on, a picture of me? What's wrong with you people? Can I make an entire paragraph with nothing but questions? Wonder if this has ever been done in the history of blogging? Are we witnessing history in the making or is this just bonkers?

Ellen: You set standards that no family activity can live up to.
Clark: When have I ever done that?
Ellen: Parties, weddings, anniversaries, funerals, holidays, vacations, graduations...

What's the maximum number of answers on a single Jeopardy! show?

Last entry's answer was I Love Lucy.

toilet gossip, kind of

The girl that lives upstairs must be a knockout. The only time I ever hear her is when she wears her high heels. That's where my hottie conclusion comes from, she wears high heels, but only at night, weekend nights. She also has some annoying small dog that has a high pitch bark. Definitely a 10, no doubt in my mind.

NASA people write on the bathroom wall. I noticed this today.

Why don't they make coffee straws without the hole. Trying to drink through that small hole burns my tongue and in the end just ticks me off. If they ever make those coffee straws without the hole please send some to Houston.

Supper didn't happen till 9 freakin thirty last night. I was famished. Pizza ordered at 7:30, Saints game starts. "It'll be ready in 45 to an hour." One hour, 10 minutes later, delivery girl calls, "I'll be there in 10 minutes can you meet me in the lobby?" 25 minutes later, been sitting in the lobby for 15 minutes, I happen to find her sitting in the parking lot waiting on me. What kind of delivery service is this, I walk to your car? "Sorry but we're under staffed tonight," I said ok and proceeded to tell her about my shoes hurting my feet all day. By the way, she was driving a 2 door bmw. Is that normal for Papa Johns? Two quarters and a halftime later I finally get to eat. Then I spill the dipping sauce on the table. Arggg. (Is that the pirate sound?)

Today is Friday.

Suspenders has had me running out with my head cut off trying to write a report. He can usually be found outside smoking or in the elevator. Taking the stairs after a cigarette must be too hard. He's a unique guy. I hope he won't get mad when I wear my new suspenders.

What Saturday Night Live star said he learned how to fall playing soccer in college?

Last entry's answer was hummingbird.

Tell someone else to read this.