shower games

There's one guy here at work that always speaks to me at the wrong time, and thank goodness it's only one. The only time I see Mr. Awkward is in the bathroom. Carrying on conversations in the bathroom is not the way to strike up a friendship. It smells, I want to get in and get out as fast as possible. No, Mr. Awkward has to talk about the day, ask where I'm from, and then inform me on the recent weather trends in the greater Houston area. First .2 second pause in his speech and I'm outta here. Crap, he caught me, during the exit I had to hold the door open because he continued to talk. Let me do my business and leave. I'm certain there's a Man Law against saying more than three words in the bathroom. "Sup?" You're done, end of conversation, no eye contact required.

It blows my mind at how old astronauts are. We're sizing some up in the lab and they practically hobble in on walkers and wheelchairs. Umm, are you going to be able to float around during that space walk without having a cramp or heart attack? Their hair better not fall out in my suit. Haven't quite understood why they can't be good looking either. Requirement to be an astronaut: Old and homely looking.

Am I a geek?

I tried to play basketball in the shower last night. Empty body wash bottle, glass door, trashcan, basketball season. Add all those together and you get the final shot in the last 1.4 seconds of the championship game, down by 2. Size up the shot...aim...shoot. Brick! I lose. I blame it on still having tight muscles from the work out. Yeah, that's it. I'll never work out again when the body wash is getting low.

Why is "Picture of Matt" dominating the Christmas poll? I mean come on, a picture of me? What's wrong with you people? Can I make an entire paragraph with nothing but questions? Wonder if this has ever been done in the history of blogging? Are we witnessing history in the making or is this just bonkers?

Ellen: You set standards that no family activity can live up to.
Clark: When have I ever done that?
Ellen: Parties, weddings, anniversaries, funerals, holidays, vacations, graduations...

What's the maximum number of answers on a single Jeopardy! show?

Last entry's answer was I Love Lucy.

tuesday V

Tonight is my last softball night in Mississippi. Losing is not an option. I can't leave this state a loser, Texas will look down on that. I hope the team throws me a going away party or at least gives me a "Coach of the Year" trophy.

I think I need a new Tuesday post title. Any suggestions?

My past entry has set a record for most comments ever in a blog. Keep up the fine work friends. For those who do not post comments, never come back. JK, I didn't mean that. That was actually mean, I'm sorry. I will never say anything mean to anybody ever again.

My new job is costing me so much money. I hope I can afford to work at this place. Just yesterday I got new stuff from one of those bed and bath places. New towels, rags, floor mats, sheets, shower crap, etc. That's not even everything I'm going to need. I am now taking donations. Click Matt's New Job Cost Him Too Much Money to donate.

It has come to my attention that Google thinks it is funny to place ads advertising single black men. I'm not laughing. Where is that crap coming from? Oh yeah, Paco, no more spanish ads in the comment section.

Old Guy is back along with his bitter ways. Someone just came up to ask if he could turn the air conditioner on in the drill hall. His response was that running the a/c is expensive. Thanks Skinny for the fan. Someone just scared Old Guy, he probably deserved it. His papers fell all over the floor. It was a sight.

Bratty Kid: I want a bicycle.
Jeremy Grey: Listen, a bicycle is going to take a lot of balloons and frankly, uncle Jeremy is a bit tired. How about I make you something else?
Bratty Kid: I just want a bicycle!
Jeremy Grey: Why... why are you yelling at me?
Bratty Kid: Make me a bicycle, clown!
Jeremy Grey: All right, I'm going to make you a bicycle. But I don't want to make you a bicycle.
Bratty Kid: Shut your mouth, funny guy, and make it.
-Wedding Crashers

What state grew to become the second most populous in the U.S. , by 1994?

Last entry's answer was The Masters.