one liners

Someone used the term, "Get out of jail free card," here at work. I don't know what that means.

April is my month to attend the 7:30 meetings. So far I'm 0 - 2. I hope no one finds out.

A girl at the ski shop told me my skis were beautiful. I told her she was beautiful.

Why is sarcasm so hard to read when in the form of text?

I asked the painter at out apartment if black was the presence or absence of all color. He didn't speak any English.

I'm supposed to be working right now. I'm blogging right now.

So far this week two people have walked out of the stall without flushing. They must have had false alarms.

I suggested "Like a Virgin" by Madonna and "Area Codes" by Ludacris to be played at my friend's wedding reception.

NASA retiring the shuttle will cost us 2,300 jobs. I'm not scared, McDonald's is hiring.

Weight lifting is heavy.

Why is it called a cookie cake? Doesn't look like a cake, just a giant cookie.

Someone told me today, "I thought you were cool". I just shrugged it off.

If I don't write my password down somewhere I'll forget it. So I post it noted it to my monitor.

I think someone just farted.

I always offer the girl at my office meat from my lunch. She's a vegetarian.

Chinese food is not meant to be eaten after a microwave visit.

I'm glad it's April. That month has a better picture on the calendar.

This was the stupidest idea for a blog ever.

What U.S. president advised: "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen"?

Last entry's answer was Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa both did it in 1998-1999.