tuesday VII

The weekend was fun. That should tell you everything you need to know.

I'm trying to make a little extra money on the side. If anyone wants to help in this cause and get something really cool click my link. This is the link to get something cool and help Matt make more money.

So far I'm 2 for 2 in racing the neighbor in her little four door Honda. Raced on the way home from work yesterday evening. She lost. Then we left about the same time this morning and I passed her on the interstate. She didn't know it was a race but she lost anyways.

Sorry for turning my blog into a cash cow today. I want to go to Cash Camp later this summer.

Saw The Happening last night and had to sit on the front row. The place was packed. No where to sit 5 people except on the bottom section, second row. This move had so many facial close ups of Marky Mark that I even dreamed I was in a M. Night Shyamalan movie. Then I woke up.

I had something else entertaining to write about but I can't remember. This will be it.

What got a new balcony, front portico and two extra chimneys on the back of $20 bills, in 1948?

Last entry's answer was the orbital period of Mars is 686.9726 days.

i'm not from here, so don't look at me like that

Tried on some more ski boots yesterday. As I was squeezing my foot into the stiff boot I noticed that my toes were somewhat cramped at the tip. Having my big toe bunched up against the end of the boot left me in a somewhat uncomfortable position. I told the girl that was sizing me and she wanted to argue with me about it.
"Uh, my toes are very crowded, mostly the big one."
"They're supposed to be like that. They're ski boots, not walking shoes."
"Well, this cramping is extremely uncomfortable."
"Skiers like it that tight and the toes should be cramped. You're a Texas skier anyways." What the heck does that supposed to mean? I can't ski and therefore I know nothing of ski equipment.
"I'm not from Texas."
"Where you from?"
"Mississippi."
"Oh..."
"I've been skiing more times than you can count on two hands, so you can bite me."
I didn't buy her boots.

Requests for a dirty picture? Are you serious? I'll see what I can do. Maybe. Hold your breath on it.

It's party weekend now. The roommate will be gone all weekend. Hope it's a wild time like in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead.

Bryan: Park it yourself, Metallica breath!
-Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

What state grew to become the second most populous in the U.S. , by 1994?

Last entry's answer was Vermont.

the return of me

I'm back in Texas. Right now I'm not sure how I feel about that. Mississippi was Mississippi and Texas is big. Does feel good to have my car/truck/suv back while driving around with people that don't know what a speed limit is. The parking garage that I parked at gave me some cookies and water when I left. They made me feel like a V.I.P., first class all the way. Thank you theParkingSpot. That's really how they spell it. If I had a company I wouldn't put spaces between the words either. ComeShopAtMattsRidiculouslyAwesomeBlogStore. Fortune 500 in no time.

Mississippi State Beat Bama, 17 - 12. I made the guy in the sound booth update me through out the wedding. I've never smiled so big for pictures before in my life. Thank you Mississippi State Bulldogs. This blog post is dedicated to you. I hope Kathy still comments.

Dakoda woke me Sunday morning. She's the not so small chocolate lab puppy of mine. I'm pretty sure she missed me.

Watch out ladies Matt is on the prowl. I caught the garter at the wedding. That little boy in front of me didn't deserve it, way too young. Not sure if I want the garter tradition to hold true or not. I'll let My Future Wife worry about that. Oh, she informed me this weekend that she doesn't like that name and wants a new one. Good luck honey. You looked hot at the dinner rehearsal. Hope she reads this.

Ocean's Thirteen comes out tomorrow. I'll probably buy it only because I have the first two.

I have yet to determine anything worse than riding a plane with a crying baby. Thank you Mr Pilot for taking the slow descent home. My ears couldn't have hurt worse. Add baby in row 15 crying and annoying flight attendant telling me to put my seat upright and buckle up every 10 minutes to the equation and we produce a crappy return flight. Why do I have to buckle up and put my seat upright? I'm an aerospace engineer who is educated in designing airplanes. That should exempt me. Whatever.

What do you call a Man Shower? The ones where Men get together for grilling and give tools, guns, knives, playboys, lawn equipment, grills and such to the groom? Do those even exist? Well if not I'll telling whoever reads this that I want one.

Friends from high school want me to mention them in my blog for some reason. Apparently they think this thing is a big deal. I'll call them CheerGirl and Nurse C.

Utility Al, why didn't you pick up your phone Saturday night? Hope you enjoy the meal for whichever night you choose. Thank you for the awesome being in the wedding present you gave me. I just showed it off to the roommate. He's impressed.

What military man had a much less famous cousin nicknamed "Mudwall"? He's a fan of mine.

Last entry's answer was Consumer News and Business Channel.

can you see my crotch?

I am now driving a glorified station wagon, an extremely small windowed Chevy HHR. Yes, the Xterra is now in the garage getting repaired. Enterprise picked me up from the body shop and took approximately 10 minutes, give or take, to leave the body shop lot. I really didn't think the seemingly obvious new hire would get us to the rental shop in one piece. Two blocks later we arrive with my eyes closed and knees at my chest. At the shop I'm informed that I can get a bigger car than what I previously thought possible. Thank you nice looking blonde with the tight body. Too bad she had a ring on that finger, because I was for sure a flirt. So she asked if I wanted the PT Cruiser or the HHR. Not knowing what an HHR was I foolishly pick the dandy little Chevy. Looking out the window as they pull it around I giggled with joy.

I now smell like cheap gas station strawberry perfume. Some idiot there, probably Carlos, sprayed way too much air freshener in the interior. I put my stuff in the car and told the blonde it smells like a cheap hotel. She winked at me. I'm pretty sure she is in love with me now.

Why is Pacman so hard?

This weekend I purchased new pants from Polo, khakis that is. I only bought them because the cute girl with brown hair told me I'd more than likely be hot in them. She lied. Halfway through the work day today I noticed there was a hole in the crotch of the pants. Not on the side, nor at the zipper, but exactly in the middle. Normally I wouldn't say anything about this or just ignore it, but someone in the office asked "Why are you picking at your crotch?" Caught ya. Crap, now everyone knows I'm walking around with something as embarrassing as having your pants unzipped. What did I do, I proudly walked around flaunting my stuff. Not really. Now I know why the blonde from the rental place winked at me.

Tomorrow will be the greatest day ever. Almost ever. The new furniture comes home. The old furniture is going to The Salvation Army while the new, awesome, comfortable, entertaining, sophisticated, hot, suave furniture takes it's place. I'll probably sleep on the new couch all week.

Go Rockies!

My new girlfriend's movie came out on DVD today. I couldn't be more proud of her. One day she'll realize how excited I am of her. One day she might know who I am. Anyways, she played Maggie on Transformers. We're in love. Almost. Not really, but she could be.

Judy Witwicky: Why are you so sweaty and filthy?
Sam Witwicky: I'm a child. Ya know, I'm a teenager.
-Transformers

What airline started out as the first crop-dusting outfit to battle boll weevils?

Last entry's answer was peas.

nothing special here

The weekend was just ok. That's it. I did decide that I'll more than likely go skiing in Dec./Jan. with some college students. Any takers?

Friday evening I spent one day's paycheck in a matter of an hour. Went to a place called Glass Wall the Restaurant. Reservations were at 8. We got lost on the way and had to call 3 times to get directions. Why can't I have GPS? Probably because it cost too much and I never get lost. Once to the restaurant I unquestionably use the complimentary valet. After thanking Pedro for parking my car and giving the hostess an eye down, we sit down and notice that the price was somewhat higher than what we thought. Looking at the menu online we saw the price for the wine glass addition, not the actual meal price. We soon discover the real, pretty penny price tag. Opps. Thank goodness I didn't have a date, that would've been a $150 meal. "Hope you enjoyed your meal, you owe me some sugar now." Oh well, the food was good, had wine with my meal for the first time, and the hostess was very attractive. Not a bad early evening.

Why did my comment section turn into a Back to the Future Convention?

Suspenders is gone all week. That leaves me room to try out my new suspenders for a few days. Get the vibe from the rest of the office. Maybe they'll call me Suspenders now. I hope not, I don't want to be thought of like he is thought of. My reputation as the new kid would take a dive south.

How come when something is filled up with another something it's called filling it up to the brim? What is that?

Last night I had the great idea of getting a tattoo. Something no one else has. The results of my brainstorm, a map of the U.S. of A. But not just any map. This one will be interactive. No color to begin with, only outlines of each state in black. Then filling in each state with a different color that I have spent at least one night in. This could possibly be the tattoo design of the year. I will never forget where I have been. Ever.

The Rockies play tonight for the chance to enter the World Series Kingdom. If they win I will paint my bedroom purple with black and white stripes. Probably even wear a purple shirt to work.

Harrold Crick: I said I live here, stupid! It's where I keep my stuff! My name's on the damn buzzer! Harold Crick, Apartment 2B eighteen ninety-three, McCarthy! - Stranger Than Fiction

What hit the market alongside spinach as the first frozen veggies?

Last entry's answer was krypton. Potassium's call sign is K but it begins with a P.