stone cold

Alright boys and girls, take a knee and listen to Mr. Matt. I for one am not a fan of "Take a knee." That is probably one of the most uncomfortable positions ever thought of to take a "rest" in. A large portion of my weight on that one knee while the rest is pressing down on the other leg's shin. Plus you have to keep your back all straight, almost as bad as sitting on a stool in the middle of a room. I will never take a knee ever again. Unless my coach tells me too. He's the only one though.

Someday I want to be as scary as Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Mr. Crest was brushing his teeth in the bathroom this morning. I think that's weird. If I ever had to brush my teeth at work I'll probably use an electric toothbrush. The other bathroom dwellers would be impressed.

Punking my roommate has become an easier task since the invention of the cookie dough pop tart. Warming the pop tart in the toaster fills the apartment with the delicious aroma of freshly baked cookies. He wake ups and smells cookies, I laugh in his face while eating pop tarts. Except this morning. Leaving my pop tarts to warm alone in the kitchen is not a good idea. Soon after he left for work I went into the kitchen to discover there was a bite taken from one of the pop tarts. While I was getting dressed in my bigger bedroom. That's right, I have the master. He stole a bite. Which he describes as a pinch. I'll probably take the batteries out of his remote for this little stunt. Then take all his toilet paper. Who's the fool now?

Stone Cold: You said that Mike Tyson is the "Baddest man on the planet."

Vince McMahon: Steve, it's just a figure of speech.

Stone Cold: [Puts his middle finger in Vince's face] There's a figure of speech, how do you like it?

Getting dressed this morning was quite the task. First, my pants zipper got stuck. Wouldn't budge. It took getting out the tool box to get that thing to work. Yes, I am a handyman. I have no second problem. I really don't know why I started off with a first.

I need to clip my fingernails, but I don't want to be like Hank who clips his during working hours. The whole 4 minutes it takes him to do this homely task, I lose all concentration and listen to the clicking.

"I got a couple of challenges for you. I challenge you to get a decent haircut. Since you're a piece of crap, I challenge you to flush yourself down the commode." - Stone Cold Steve Austin

For the record, wrestling is fake. Period.

What kid's show's interracial cast needed riot police protection during a 1969 trip to Mississippi? They should have just took Steve Austin in my opinion.

Last entry's answer was George Bush.

need more pop tarts

Tonight is Monday Night Football night because it's Monday. I'm never that excited about Monday nights but tonight is an exception. The New Orleans Saints play those Titans. I couldn't be more excited. Except when Jessica told me she liked me in the 6th grade.

This morning I ate two brown sugar Pop Tarts for breakfast. I wanted the strawberry ones but for some reason Target didn't carry regular strawberry Pop Tarts. They had the strawberry with frosting but I don't like strawberry Pop Tarts with frosting. Think I'm going to write Target an email and explain to them that ever since I was a little kid I never liked frosted strawberry Pop Tarts. Only the regular strawberry ones will work for me.

I want to thank all the Mississippi State football players for earning one single vote in the USA Today NCAA top 25 pole. Also, thanks to that one person out there that gave use a vote. If we can double our votes next week I'll probably faint.

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?
-Airplane

What brand of underwear does Marty McFly wear in Back to the Future?

Last entry's answer was St. Peter.