that's all I have to say

I made two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches this morning and now I'm not that hungry. Since I don't want the co-workers to think I'm a wimp will eat both of them. Really wish I wouldn't have put so much peanut butter on that first one.

Someone left a game open on their computer here in the office. I keep hearing outdoor noises. Birds chirping and crows...crowing? Yeah, crows crowing, doing their thing. It's probably that deer hunter game. It reminds me of sitting in the deer stand.

I made it to work at 6:50 this morning. I'm a roll. Working 10 hour days so I can have Friday off. Gotta make it to Mississippi before the haircut lady leaves.

It's time to start the birthday countdown. Three more days till my big day. I hope someone gives me a pat on the back this afternoon.

This weekend I saw a comedian and he wore a blue shirt. He was funny. I laughed a combined total of 12 minutes and 34 seconds.

Mary: Can I help you with anything?
Clark: Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - brousing.
Mary: For your wife? For your girlfriend?
Clark: Uh... huh? What happened? I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?
Mary: You have your coat on.
Clark: Yes, oh do I? How'd that happen?
Mary: Because it's cold out?
Clark: Yes, Yes, it is a bit nipply out. I mean 'nippy out.' What am I saying, nipple? Ah, there is a nip in the air, though.
-Christmas Vacation

Short, stupid post today. I would hate reading my blog if I didn't write it.

What was Miami quarterback Bob Griese the first NFL player to wear in a game, in 1977?

Last entry's answer was 61.

picture post

Martini did this so now I want to because I think she's cool. Plus it's an easy post that requires little to no thinking.

Instructions: You must type the answer to each question into a Google Image search, then pick an image from the first page of results.

1. Age at next birthday: 24 (she's kind of hot)








2. Place I would like to travel: New Zealand








3. My favorite place: Good ole Smokey Mountains. I'd kill to be there right now.









4. My favorite objects: Hmm....ipod of course.












5. My favorite food: Crawfish, pucker up.








6. My favorite color: Guess what color.










7. My nickname: This is Matty the Blade. I usualy don't ever have "the Blade" added on but, it does manly up the name. Guys aren't allowed to say Matty. That's just weird.









8. The place I was born: Somewhere in Mississippi.











9. Ideal date: Gotta put her in there somewhere.









10. Where you hope to be in five years: Thinking of giving up the space industry and living in Colorado, Montana or Wyoming doing who knows what. What a life.

What uncooked meat is a trichina worm most likely to make a home in?

Last entry's answer was the Dallas Cowboys.

thank you

The Houston Police Department introduced themselves to me Tuesday morning on the way to work. The cop didn't strike me as the brightest law enforcer on the force. After asking him if that was me he caught speeding, his answer was yes, but it lacked some confidence. So I made him show me the radar. Sure enough he pulled out the radar gun to show me some random speed that he probably penciled in on his radar. The gun probably wasn't even real. I said "Whatever." He told me I was going 77 then sped up to 80. Who speeds up when they see a cop car?? He gave me a ticket. I said "Whatever" again.

I finally found a solution to my Orbit gum troubles. There's a new gum on the market called 5. They somehow avoided the problem of gum sticking to the packet. No more hard times with Orbit. High 5. Get it?

Ever since I did "live blog" the other day I have been super busy at work. Someone probably told an astronaut that I wasn't working.

I'm not a fan of the green apple of grape Blow Pops but I eat them anyways. Someone at work brought a bunch of Blow Pops in and now all the good colors are gone. Right now I'm wishing I would have stocked up on the strawberry while they were still around.

Thanksgiving dinner at work is coming up this Friday. I'm signed up to bring Mac and Cheese. Homemade of course. Along with a sweet potato pie. Mmmm. Everyone else in the office is pretty cheap. One guy signed up for mashed potatoes and asked if someone else would bring gravy. Come on slacker, just pick up some gravy at KFC when you get the potatoes. We're engineers, you can afford it. I am thankful for having a Thanksgiving dinner at work and sweet potato pie. That's it. Well, girls too. And the state of Mississippi along with Mississippi State. Probably Dakoda too.

Turk Malloy: Don't change the facial structure.
Virgil Malloy: I'm making you taller. Don't you want to be taller? You're a midget in 34 states. Turk Malloy: Yeah, well, I'm an animal in the other 34.
Virgil Malloy:[turns and stares at Turk]
Turk Malloy: 24. 22.
-Ocean's Thirteen

What company first condensed soup in 1898?

Last entry's answer was Stonewall Jackson.

tuxes and baseball

Bad luck seems to follow me to Minute Maid park every time I go. The Astros lost again. I'm the only one to blame. Sorry Lance, sorry Craig, sorry Carlos. Braves come to town in two weeks, watch out Houston, I'm going to the game.

Today I turned into a real man. I applied for my very first credit card. Finally able to take that fake paper credit card out of my wallet. The edges are beginning to wear down and others are taking notice. I'm so embarrassed.

The Office Season 3 enlightened me on what my car means in Latin. Apparently I drive an Xearth. Probably made up because it sounds stupid.

Proposing at ball games seems to be a new tradition when I'm around. This is the second time I've witnessed some brave man drop to one knee in spit, coke, beer, and peanut shells to begin his journey into wedlock. Here's the scene, Kiss-Cam flies by to encourage old couples into making out and ends on Pedro and Margret with wedding chimes. Pedro calmly sits back while his soon to be wife freaks out and does the deer in headlights look. I don't know what the delay was but he took forever to get down on that knee. Probably having second thoughts. In the end, the fans leave the game with a big L and a newly engaged couple. I love baseball. Wonder if My Future Wife would like that?

Two fellow Houston residents decided to hold up traffic on the way home today. Manuel will now be buying Santiago a new bumper.

Customer: Can I have one of these items that is in a box?
Employee: Of course [retrieves item].
Customer: Can you check to make sure it isn't broken?
Employee: No problem! [Cuts tape and opens box.]
Customer: Great! Now, can I have one that hasn't been opened?
-670 University Avenue
Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
Canada
overheardintheoffice.com

Who had an 80s No 1 hit with Karma Chameleon?

Last entry's answer was Mississippi.

lead foot

Houston is taking some getting use to. I'm from Small Town, Mississippi which has two red lights in the whole town. Houston itself is bigger than the entire state of Mississippi. Well, almost, maybe not, it could be. Yesterday a wreck on NASA 1, which I personally think is the worst highway in Texas as far as traffic is concerned, slowed me up and made the drive home much longer. I did manage to win the race home against the roommate. Today there were two wrecks on the interstate heading into downtown. That commotion double my drive home time compared to yesterday. Me 1, roommate 1. I'm going to own him tomorrow.

Today's Starbucks adventure ends on a crappy note. I stumble into the lobby to find that the machine is fully stocked with everything and is ready to produce some delicious brand name coffee. There are no cups. I look in every drawer, shelf, and cabinet. The guy in the Michigan shirt saw my temper flair as I threw the pool balls and cue. Ok, I made that up, there was no throwing except in my mind.

I really work at NASA.

I was beginning to doubt the intelligence of Carlos, the facility maintenance man. A request was put in for him to fix our ice maker. I turned the ice maker off because it was leaking water, what any normal person with common sense would do. His maintenance report yesterday was that there was no leak and everything looked fine. Carlos! I'm not going to leave it on to flood my apartment. Where's your head at? He did manage to fix the problem today. We have a new fridge and the doors open in the opposite direction now. Thanks Carlos.

Going back to the wreck traffic on the interstate. Pedro in the pick up truck directly in front of me must have paid the DMV off for his license or either he has a solid lead foot. Heavy on the gas, heavy on the brake. Heavy on the gas, heavy on the brake. Its bumper to bumper traffic. Take it easy Pedro.

Good news, I'm already lined up to travel for the new job. Watch out Baltimore, here I come! I'm staying in the second nicest hotel ever. Thanks new job.

What was the biggest city in America until 1755?

Last entry's answer was green.

tuesday V

Tonight is my last softball night in Mississippi. Losing is not an option. I can't leave this state a loser, Texas will look down on that. I hope the team throws me a going away party or at least gives me a "Coach of the Year" trophy.

I think I need a new Tuesday post title. Any suggestions?

My past entry has set a record for most comments ever in a blog. Keep up the fine work friends. For those who do not post comments, never come back. JK, I didn't mean that. That was actually mean, I'm sorry. I will never say anything mean to anybody ever again.

My new job is costing me so much money. I hope I can afford to work at this place. Just yesterday I got new stuff from one of those bed and bath places. New towels, rags, floor mats, sheets, shower crap, etc. That's not even everything I'm going to need. I am now taking donations. Click Matt's New Job Cost Him Too Much Money to donate.

It has come to my attention that Google thinks it is funny to place ads advertising single black men. I'm not laughing. Where is that crap coming from? Oh yeah, Paco, no more spanish ads in the comment section.

Old Guy is back along with his bitter ways. Someone just came up to ask if he could turn the air conditioner on in the drill hall. His response was that running the a/c is expensive. Thanks Skinny for the fan. Someone just scared Old Guy, he probably deserved it. His papers fell all over the floor. It was a sight.

Bratty Kid: I want a bicycle.
Jeremy Grey: Listen, a bicycle is going to take a lot of balloons and frankly, uncle Jeremy is a bit tired. How about I make you something else?
Bratty Kid: I just want a bicycle!
Jeremy Grey: Why... why are you yelling at me?
Bratty Kid: Make me a bicycle, clown!
Jeremy Grey: All right, I'm going to make you a bicycle. But I don't want to make you a bicycle.
Bratty Kid: Shut your mouth, funny guy, and make it.
-Wedding Crashers

What state grew to become the second most populous in the U.S. , by 1994?

Last entry's answer was The Masters.