just taking up time

The World Series starts tonight. Nothing better will be on TV so everyone has no excuse for not watching it. Philadelphia vs Tampa Bay. I prefer that the Rays win because we have the same name. Mine being my middle name and their last name. It would make feel proud of that name for the second time ever.

Someone stank up the office building the other day by cooking broccoli. Building managers and other facility heads were worried about toilets leaking and other horrible sewage problems. Little did they know that it was someone just trying to enjoy freshly steamed veggies...Today I had cream of broccoli soup.

Softball was last and we managed to win two in a row. We finally felt what it was like to be champions. I didn't say too much after the game. Words just could not describe how the team felt in that moment.

Why are gum wrappers not cut on a straight edge? Do the jagged edges improve something? They remind me of teeth. Maybe it's designed in case a caveman time warps to 2008. Then he can associate the jagged edges with teeth and then know to chew the contents of the wrapper. Wrigley should be given more credit because of this ingenious idea.

Bought a computer for my bike. It's a piece of crap but it makes me feel like Lance Armstrong. Cruising along at a minimum speed the computer works great and proudly displays my 9.4 mph speed. Kick it up a gear and show off my power, the computer freaks out. I am too fast for this thing. Once the reading is over 11 mph, it looses all strength and gives up. I feel like David Levy.

My back hurts today. I feel that I should get worker's comp on this. If anyone wants to question me then I'll have them sit in my chair for 8 hours and do nothing all day. That would make anyone's back ache or probably something worse.

What Phillies slugger, upon seeing Lake Michigan for the firs time, asked: "What ocean is that"?

Last entry's answer was Whitey Ford with 10.

the astros won but...

My forehead was peeling this morning and with the new haircut I don't have much hair to cover it up. I hope no one looks at me today.

Astros game was just ok last night. We sat in the only section that had coordinated fans. They cheered the entire game. It was all thanks to this one little girl who had long blond hair with a pink hat turned sideways. She didn't use her chair for sitting, but rather for standing to project her voice over the crowd. She stood the whole game while yelling "Let's Go Astros!!" Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. No sort of originality at all, same cheer over and over. I gave her a few turns of my head in her direction, but they did nothing. She'd look back and wonder why on earth I wasn't clapping. I did however participate in the wave. I put forth a lot of effort by sacrificing both arms and a yell, "Whoooooo!"

The girl that sits next to me at work sounds like the boss from Office Space. "Yeaaaaaaaaah."

I moved up a row last night because some tall old dude with funky hair sat directly in front of me. All I could see was the batter, hair and scalp, and the outfield. Still not sure if the move up was a good idea or not. Row 36 happened to be the busiest row in the entire stadium. Each row dweller was constantly taking turns getting up and going somewhere. I was sitting on the aisle. That one little boy probably peed about 6 times and somehow could not coordinate a pee break at the same time as going to the gift shop. The roommate also became aware that he shares the same cologne as an old man.

What volatile nation was the first Caribbean country to gain independence?

Last entry's answer was Australia.

taco meat

Made tacos last night with the anything that was present in the fridge. I had no cheese, lettuce, or tomatoes, just taco meat. If anyone else would have made them they probably would have only been fair. Mine were excellent, sort of. I think I'll go shopping today and try again tonight.

There was nothing good on TV last night and the Astros got beat again. They stink.

"That's Nasty" is back on Baseball Tonight. I am rejoicing on the inside.

Big Boss is enforcing mandatory overtime for me starting next week. Again, I am rejoicing on the inside. He told me the maximum I can put in is 60 hours a week and I am to work on nothing else except my secret project. Talks have even resurfaced about a temp peon working under me. So once again I requested a sorority sister from a local college. They're thinking of a grandma instead.

In 1901, this became the first toy in the world to be powered by electricity.

Last entry's answer was Georgia.

i need some golden suspenders

Yesterday I ate at Quiznos. The framed certificate on the wall said that it was Daniel Sun's place. I quietly ordered my sandwich and didn't complain about anything.

Today is Suspenders last day. Every time I find a new person to share to the world they end up leaving me. I wonder how Old Guy and Heart Breaker Dan are doing now days. Every once in a while I get an email from Heart Breaker Dan and I become very weary. Opening his email could get me fired. I remember some of the stuff he looked at in his inbox, stuff any mother wouldn't want their son seeing.

Tomorrow is the neighbor's birthday and I asked the girl getting the cake if she would get a cookie cake. I told her the story of how that was the only thing I wanted on my birthday and I didn't get one. It was a world crasher. Well, she didn't get a cookie cake and then went on to tell me that it's not my birthday. There's no reason for people to get so upset about cake. I mean, I like cake. Most people like cake. There's icing, cake, and good times. Cake gets everyone in a good mood. When I'm down, I think of cake and instantly I become excited. There's no need for so much hate. I don't like the cake batter ice cream though.

There is a sign in the hallway next to one of the offices that reads, "This is an office area. Do not congregate in this area. This is a quiet zone." I usually whistle, cough, walk loudly, and knock when I pass by. I've really only done that once and it was an accident. Normally I take a detour to avoid the quiet zone. It worries me.

The piles are really pilling up on my desk now. Suspenders might really be missed. I'm scared. I do have some neat space equipment on my desk now. Ladies will be impressed. Sure wish he would leave me those magical suspenders too.

Check out what I did in my free time over the week. This right here.

What edible comes in crimmini, morel, oyster and wood ear varieties?

Last entry's answer was Ted Williams.

that face on the milk carton

If I ever go missing I would like a picture of me in snow goggles to be put on the milk carton.

Mom wants me to make a DVD with the pictures of the ski trip. Since I forgot to ask her what songs she wants me to use I'll probably just use Metallica, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and Hannah Montana. No wait, I dislike Hannah Montana. Make it The Cure instead of Miss Montana.

The roommate has become more and more wimpy over the past 6 months. Now, he can't handle the Crest White Strips. "My teeth hurt, why are they so sensitive." I told him before that he wouldn't be able to handle them like I could. Sometimes I wonder if I'm immune to pain.

Everyone else in America got snow this weekend except for Houston. I want a refund.

Last night we watched two episodes of Arrested Development Season 2. I could only hear one of the episodes. During the first one I was eating nachos, the crunching of chips in my head made it difficult to hear. It was only the Christmas episode, which means nothing to me in March.

A picture for your suffering. You're over halfway finished. Way to go reader.

Suspenders at work has becoming increasingly annoying over the past six months. I think he's jealous of me. I'm a good 30 plus years younger and probably make the same as him. Is that why he always pops his suspenders at me?

Last night was the Live Fantasy Baseball Draft 2008. I totally mopped floor with my picks. No picks from the Diamondbacks because they wear the color purple. Only players that wear red, black, dark blue, grey, and white can play on my team.

Ernie Capadion: Yeah, I'm just going home, grab a shower and shave, give the wife a little pickle-tickle, and I'm on my way.
-A League of Their Own

What word appears exactly 773,692 times in the King James Bible?

Last entry's answer was Roger Clemens.

tuxes and baseball

Bad luck seems to follow me to Minute Maid park every time I go. The Astros lost again. I'm the only one to blame. Sorry Lance, sorry Craig, sorry Carlos. Braves come to town in two weeks, watch out Houston, I'm going to the game.

Today I turned into a real man. I applied for my very first credit card. Finally able to take that fake paper credit card out of my wallet. The edges are beginning to wear down and others are taking notice. I'm so embarrassed.

The Office Season 3 enlightened me on what my car means in Latin. Apparently I drive an Xearth. Probably made up because it sounds stupid.

Proposing at ball games seems to be a new tradition when I'm around. This is the second time I've witnessed some brave man drop to one knee in spit, coke, beer, and peanut shells to begin his journey into wedlock. Here's the scene, Kiss-Cam flies by to encourage old couples into making out and ends on Pedro and Margret with wedding chimes. Pedro calmly sits back while his soon to be wife freaks out and does the deer in headlights look. I don't know what the delay was but he took forever to get down on that knee. Probably having second thoughts. In the end, the fans leave the game with a big L and a newly engaged couple. I love baseball. Wonder if My Future Wife would like that?

Two fellow Houston residents decided to hold up traffic on the way home today. Manuel will now be buying Santiago a new bumper.

Customer: Can I have one of these items that is in a box?
Employee: Of course [retrieves item].
Customer: Can you check to make sure it isn't broken?
Employee: No problem! [Cuts tape and opens box.]
Customer: Great! Now, can I have one that hasn't been opened?
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overheardintheoffice.com

Who had an 80s No 1 hit with Karma Chameleon?

Last entry's answer was Mississippi.