bricks

I only had coffee and ice cream for breakfast this morning. That's no lie. Checked my email at work to discover that some girl sent out a mass email saying there was ice cream in the lab fridge. Two seconds later I was on my way to the lab. Mmmm, melted in my mouth. I think I forgot to put it back in the freezer. Hope no one discovers this.

Yesterday the new computer awaited me in the apartment office. It was heavy. I was questioning if they put bricks in the box to throw potential robbers for a loop. Mom used to do that to my Christmas Presents. I don't know why I capitalized presents. It will never happen again. Days before Christmas I'd shake every box and try my hardest to figure out what in the word I was getting. "This one is heavy, think I got that Nintendo." "Gee thanks Mom, I love the new plain white socks and a brick." Little did she know that I just went in the back yard and threw it in the woods. Hope she never finds out.

The drive home from work didn't suck. How unusual.

Does it ever get cold in Texas? I will probably never get to put my new jacket to good use. Purchases from January, are they still new? Maybe I should drive to Washington, Colorado, or Maine and give it to some random person. I would expect them to call me their hero then. "This very handsome young man gave me this nice jacket. He is now my hero." I can hear the little old lady now. Old ladies always call 20 something year olds handsome. That's why I sit in their section at church.

I sang this song on the way home and it gave me chill bumps. I'm from Mississippi.

'Cause God blessed Texas with His own hand
Brought down angels from the promised land
Gave 'em a place where they could dance
If you wanna see heaven brother here's your chance
I've been sent to spread the message
God blessed Texas
-"God Bless Texas" by Little Texas

Who said: "I'm the president of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli"?
Hint: It was a president.

Last entry's answer was 4.

don't ask

I found the "Don't Mess with Texas" t-shirts for sell. I plan on sending some home to my friends. They will be required to wear them whenever they come to visit. I plan on wearing mine to church Sunday.

Lunch today was interesting. Never have I ever eaten Vietnamese food. Is that how you spell it? If not, it is now. Someone from the office asked if I wanted to go. Sure, why not. Anyways, some guy who drives a four-door Dakota truck picked us up. He listens to, no lie, an Elvis impersonator singing Led Zeppelin with a reggae band. How do I know this? He explained in detail about this piece-o-crap cd he owns. At lunch he explained how he enjoyed going to the clubs in downtown and "macking" on the ladies. He's got to be in his 40s. I was instructed not to get married so that I can live the dream and tell them, the married guys, about how much fun it is to pick up the ladies. For some reason I'm guessing this guy goes home and plays video games when Star Trek is not on. My stomach hurts.

Father Rob, Utility Al, no more chatting to each other on the comment section. Call each other.

I experienced the "Everything is bigger in Texas" this morning. I have never heard thunder this loud before in my entire life. I about wet the bed. Made that last part up. God was looking out for me though. If not for the thunder I would probably still be asleep. The alarm clock never was set last night.

The Girl called yesterday evening bragging about how she was in Starkville going to the game. She wants me. That's all I'm going to say about that and the game. I hope she reads this.

What U.S. state had the first 7-Eleven stores?

Last entry's answer was Michigan.

tuesday VI

Anybody ever heard of Cartel? Didn't think so. Last night I was fortunate enough to be present at their concert here in Houston. They didn't suck. Except for the end where they almost closed with a not so great cover of "Wonderwall." Note to Cartel, don't cover Oasis anymore.

Where is anne onymous?

Whenever I hear a phone ring while sitting at my desk I yell out, "Hello!?" with my Mississippi accent. Helps to break the silence. Hope some one's phone rings in Mission Control.

I made another friend. Congrats go to me. She is the neighbor from across the hall. Can't impress her too much with the mission control, rocket science, or NASA. She is an aerospace engineer herself. I'm impressed. Cool girl with a funny accent.

I think there are a few 1st graders that read this blog. Or just some people who's parents didn't tell them that glue wasn't meant to be eaten.

Neighbor girl from Ohio was introduced to Southernism. Is that a real word? Well it is now. I'll put it on Wikipedia. Last night was Breakfast Supper night!!! The eggs were right, the bacon was crisp, the grits were fine. For those northerners out there, grits are a popular breakfast food in the southern household. Eat 'em, they'll put hair on your chest. I also made my Mamaw's homemade catheads (which are simply buttermilk biscuits for those of you on the other side of the Mississippi state line). They were the best Texas has ever tasted.

I can hardly sit still any longer in anticipation for Thursday night. The college football season kicks off with my alma mater, The Mississippi State Bulldogs. Too bad we play LSU, they've got this mentality that they're going all the way this year. I don't know who told them that. ESPN, Thursday night, 7 pm central. I'll have my cowbell out, ringing it. Hope the neighbors won't mind.

I kept misspelling Thursday in this post. I'm such an idiot. Thusday.

How many fingers does Homer Simpson have?

Last entry's answer was 48.

tuesday V

Tonight is my last softball night in Mississippi. Losing is not an option. I can't leave this state a loser, Texas will look down on that. I hope the team throws me a going away party or at least gives me a "Coach of the Year" trophy.

I think I need a new Tuesday post title. Any suggestions?

My past entry has set a record for most comments ever in a blog. Keep up the fine work friends. For those who do not post comments, never come back. JK, I didn't mean that. That was actually mean, I'm sorry. I will never say anything mean to anybody ever again.

My new job is costing me so much money. I hope I can afford to work at this place. Just yesterday I got new stuff from one of those bed and bath places. New towels, rags, floor mats, sheets, shower crap, etc. That's not even everything I'm going to need. I am now taking donations. Click Matt's New Job Cost Him Too Much Money to donate.

It has come to my attention that Google thinks it is funny to place ads advertising single black men. I'm not laughing. Where is that crap coming from? Oh yeah, Paco, no more spanish ads in the comment section.

Old Guy is back along with his bitter ways. Someone just came up to ask if he could turn the air conditioner on in the drill hall. His response was that running the a/c is expensive. Thanks Skinny for the fan. Someone just scared Old Guy, he probably deserved it. His papers fell all over the floor. It was a sight.

Bratty Kid: I want a bicycle.
Jeremy Grey: Listen, a bicycle is going to take a lot of balloons and frankly, uncle Jeremy is a bit tired. How about I make you something else?
Bratty Kid: I just want a bicycle!
Jeremy Grey: Why... why are you yelling at me?
Bratty Kid: Make me a bicycle, clown!
Jeremy Grey: All right, I'm going to make you a bicycle. But I don't want to make you a bicycle.
Bratty Kid: Shut your mouth, funny guy, and make it.
-Wedding Crashers

What state grew to become the second most populous in the U.S. , by 1994?

Last entry's answer was The Masters.

sage in bloom is like perfume

The Houston Apartment Search 2007 started off with a bang or maybe it was a yawn. Yeah, it was most definitely a yawn at 4:00 am. I did however get my BK Mocha Joe after stopping at the third (yes, 1..2..3) Burger King. They open at 6, not 5, not 5:30, but 6. Just in case anybody is every up that early in the history of mankind.

Mom's NASA visit turned out to be a little embarrassing. She could not leave that place without having a poster, sticker, patch, and a medallion. I felt like the hillbilly's coming to the big city. Especially when we made our entrance to the valet. I was so in awe that I forgot to put the car in park.

Friday night we took in an Astros game. Thanks Burd. I think my nose is still bleeding.

I now have a new crush. Her name is Candace. I have actually met this one unlike the others in the past. She works at the Ventana at Midtown, an apartment we almost signed on because of her. Ok not really, well maybe a little. I wanted to sign there so she'd have my phone number, I didn't care if she had a ring on her finger. Mom said she lacked a personality, I said she didn't need one.

The hotel we were in all weekend was nothing less than hair-raising, heart-stirring, and spine-tingling. I like how all those words have a hyphen. The elevators took my stomach away every time we went down. I'd curse when some other floor delayed our decent. Cursing also occurred when I saw that my one waffle for breakfast was $11.25. L'Eggo my wallet.

After everything was said and done, I'm the proud owner of the coolest loft in Houston, Texas. Thanks to everyone who wished me good luck, only y'all can come visit, no others. Do they use y'all in Texas? They don't drink sweet tea. Wimps.

Get ready Houston, Matt's coming to town.

"I feel safer on a racetrack than I do on Houston's freeways." - A. J. Foyt

This is for Tiger and his awesomeness. What Grand Slam golf tournament has the most clubhousers sipping mint juleps?

Last entry's answer was Los Angeles.