just taking up time

The World Series starts tonight. Nothing better will be on TV so everyone has no excuse for not watching it. Philadelphia vs Tampa Bay. I prefer that the Rays win because we have the same name. Mine being my middle name and their last name. It would make feel proud of that name for the second time ever.

Someone stank up the office building the other day by cooking broccoli. Building managers and other facility heads were worried about toilets leaking and other horrible sewage problems. Little did they know that it was someone just trying to enjoy freshly steamed veggies...Today I had cream of broccoli soup.

Softball was last and we managed to win two in a row. We finally felt what it was like to be champions. I didn't say too much after the game. Words just could not describe how the team felt in that moment.

Why are gum wrappers not cut on a straight edge? Do the jagged edges improve something? They remind me of teeth. Maybe it's designed in case a caveman time warps to 2008. Then he can associate the jagged edges with teeth and then know to chew the contents of the wrapper. Wrigley should be given more credit because of this ingenious idea.

Bought a computer for my bike. It's a piece of crap but it makes me feel like Lance Armstrong. Cruising along at a minimum speed the computer works great and proudly displays my 9.4 mph speed. Kick it up a gear and show off my power, the computer freaks out. I am too fast for this thing. Once the reading is over 11 mph, it looses all strength and gives up. I feel like David Levy.

My back hurts today. I feel that I should get worker's comp on this. If anyone wants to question me then I'll have them sit in my chair for 8 hours and do nothing all day. That would make anyone's back ache or probably something worse.

What Phillies slugger, upon seeing Lake Michigan for the firs time, asked: "What ocean is that"?

Last entry's answer was Whitey Ford with 10.

wedding number two was ok

Wedding number two of the season was short and sweet. Thank goodness because it was outside. There was plenty of unexpected entertainment though. No one thought in advance about the Friday night football game going on just half a mile away. Plenty of "Sonic Boom" from the band section.

My plane Thursday evening was delayed by 2 hours. I wasn't happy but I did get to sit with and meet the band Lifehouse. The drummer thought I was cool. That still did not raise my spirits for the plane being late. I'm pretty sure that Southwest Airlines strategically placed Lifehouse on the plane for purposes of cheering up the passengers for a delayed flight. I'm no sucker. For some reason, half way through the flight, I felt the need to listen to a few of their songs.

Went to the fair on Friday evening. Father Rob was convinced that the World's greatest cinnamon rolls were being sold there. I paid $4 and was upset that he claimed these were the World's greatest. They were good, but not the best. Sometimes I wonder about him. He wouldn't even pay one dollar to see the 100 Pound Rat or the Man Eating Snake. I didn't pay the dollar for the Man Eating Snake either. Utility Al did because he thought I had no more money. Who's the sucker now? Me for allowing someone to pay for me to look at the Man Eating Snake or him paying for me to see the Man Eating Snake?

Softball has been rained out for the second week in a row. I really think that the other team is scared of me. There is no way that rain can cause two cancels in a row.

The dentist in Mississippi thinks I'm poor. He only told me I had one cavity versus the dentist here in Houston that told me I have nine. He'll come out better in the long run by telling me about each one, one by one.

The bed at home hurt my back and I cried about to anyone that would listen.

Once again, I requested one simple thing for my return home. A cookie cake. There were numerous emails sent on this issue and I was for sure that this time there would be a massive cookie cake in my honor. The icing design had been chosen, the size and shape were determined, location and times were arranged for enjoyment. Everything was ready for order till Father Rob decided that three $4 cinnamon rolls at the fair would satisfy him instead. Everyone always thinks about themselves. I hope he can't finish the average breakfast treat and they go stale.

What pitcher has the most World Series victories?

Last entry's answer was ten.

the weekend wedding was just ok

I survived a wedding weekend in the Music City, barely. The only disappointments were that there was no rice to throw, I only got to walk down the aisle for the exit, the groom did not cry, our hotel was hosting the gray haired convention of Opry Land, and I didn't catch the garter. Whenever I get married and if by some freak accident I cry, I'll just leave right then to save myself the humility.

Garter makers should really consider adding a little extra elastic into their product.

Someone should kick me for not taking the $300 and catching a later flight on Sunday. Just don't kick me in the face.

Why is it called a restroom? If I ever own a super mall, movie theater or gas station I'll call it the reliefroom.

I was watching the beginning of Life, some TV show, last night and it proved to be very unrealistic. The smart detective was unable to figure out the automatic sink and soap dispenser. I turned it off and vowed to never watch it again.

Yesterday I wore a gray polo and froze. Today I'm wearing a green long sleeve button up and am still freezing. I hate my desk more than anything ever and the colors of my shirt do not matter.

Softball is tonight. I am going to predict a complete blowout by our team. By blowout I mean our team will win at any costs. I do mean by any costs.

Guy Who Played At LSU told me I have to buy him a lunch because his team beat mine. That is the worst idea ever. If anyone should be providing lunch it should be him. My team lost and I'm down. Getting him lunch will get me down even more because I'll be out a whole lunch. So, I told him tomorrow lunch will be on me. Lucky me, there will be a free lunch provided by NASA tomorrow that he knows nothing about.

Is interlocking fingers a more intimate way of holding hands? If so, me and my bride's maid were intimate together. The roommate and his bride's maid were not because she was married. She refused to interlock fingers and now they will look like total strangers in the pictures. He ruined the wedding photographs because of this. Except for those two where I didn't smile.

Lastly, the new Ben Folds CD comes out today. Go buy it, enjoy it or else.

What is the minimum number of musicians a band must have to be considered a "big band"?

Last entry's answer was cork.

i survived

I survived. Survived living with the parents at home in Mississippi that is. Ike sent me on a "hurrication" to the deep south. Spent a total of 10 days living in my old stomping grounds with the mom and the dad. They tried to get me to pull my weight around the house but I would politely remind them that I was an evacuee. It didn't work.

Some kindergartner tried to beat me up at church on Sunday. I told his mom.

I ticked someone off yesterday. Since most the the traffic lights are out around here, all intersections are on the honor system. First there, first to go. Just like a stop sign. Coming back from lunch, Mr Baldy didn't think I waited long enough at the line. That must have given him permission to show me just how much he disapproved of my actions. Not only did his left arm come out the window but his right arm as well. I'm guessing he didn't have the pastor in his car either after reading some of lip gestures.

Mississippi made me gain weight. Everywhere served sweet tea and would fry anything edible.

Louisiana, you have poor driving skills.

Throughout the entire 10 days at home I wore the same thing over and over again. Only expecting to stay there for 2 days, I packed accordingly.

Lynyrd Skynyrd took, "'y' is sometimes vowel' rule to the extreme.

I have turned into someone I never wanted to be. A television show fan. For the past two weeks I have been watching Lost. Heroes started back last night and The Office premieres on Thursday Evening. I have never felt like a middle aged woman more so than I do right now.

If only the worship service was like this at church every Sunday. I'd request the guy with the brown guitar for an encore.

Two things that someone showed me last week that left me speechless and scared. A baby and a cartoon. Do not click on the cartoon. It's like watching The Ring, something weird will happen.

What did Chris Sabo shower the field with when his bat broke in a July 31,1996 game?

Last entry's answer was five.

what to do?

My windshield was cleaned this morning by another vehicle. The man driving the Dodge hatchback apparently had a dirty windshield and felt it necessary to clean it while driving. In doing so, he sprayed my windshield with the excess washer fluid that missed his window. I wouldn't have minded but he almost came to a complete stop while spraying and wiping. Me being annoyed, decided to pass him to give him the thankful stare down. I look over at him and he's two knuckles deep into his left nostril. I watch in amazement.

If only I could sing like this guy.

Looks as if the hurricane bags are coming back out! It's always a riveting time when this momentous event happens.

Guy That Is In The Band always makes the weirdest comments. Everyone is talking about hurricanes for some reason and he chimes in about the live reporters at the storm. "One day some sign is going to come flying by and cut their head off." Did I mention that he always smiles when he talks?

"The clouds are forming
She comes again
I'll go and walk with her
Along the Seine

Soon she'll be storming
Here comes the wind
But that don't bother me
'Cause she's my friend

I love the rain"
-I Love the Rain by Lenny Kravitz

My first thought is that he is singing about a hurricane with a female name. If not that then, some weather lady on TV.

I laughed.

Two more days till the trip back to Mississippi State. I, myself, could not be more excited. I only wish I would have waited on the announcement to my boss about this decision. If JSC closes it's doors to Ike I will be ripped off on a free vacation day. I could just challenge the HR Lady and add it to my time sheet anyways. That will give her some much needed work to figure out.

What was the largest number of living ex-presidents at one time?

Last entry's answer was the 20 yard line.

assumptions make everything right

Word in the halls is that we might be knocked out of work Thursday and Friday. That is, if Mr Ike assumes his path towards Houston and does not loose any of his strength. This assumption is also assuming that Ike is a male.

Mississippi State managed to win the first game of the season by pounding some no-named school in Louisiana. Another assumption is assuming 34-10 is a pounding. I don't think it is but I wanted to use a term that would make us sound powerful and respectful. That last sentence probably messed everything up.

All weekend I watched football. My large mouth did not live up to the hype in fantasy league week one. If I had to put money on it, I would imagine that the league is rigged against me. It's like I am stuck in some sort of Truman Show plot.

I am a horrible gardener. At first I was proud of my skills for reviving two plants but now I am beginning to have second thoughts. I have killed two totally separate plants, twice each. The first is a member of the vine family and and now belongs to no family due to me dropping it completely out of the tub it was in. I did however, bring it back to life, only to kill it again. What was once green is now being consumed by brown and some yellowish color. The other, my favorite, is or was a pepper plant. It produces or produced green peppers that turn, yellow, then orange and finally red. Very cool. Now the entire plant is wilting away. This is the second time Oscar, figured I would give it a name since it is a favorite, has wilted away. I feel like giving up but I won't. There might be a third of even fourth life for these two.

I took the atomic fireball challenge just a few minutes ago. "I was man" are my exact words on how I performed. Never once removed it, except to see what color it was towards the very end. In case you were wondering, it turned white. My guess is that the red is the hot part.

What yard line must a football team drive to, to reach the "red zone"?

Last entry's answer was the San Francisco 49ers.

it's only 2:00, time is too slow at work

Someone is clipping their fingernails in the other office right now. It's so annoying and I cannot concentrate on anything at this very moment, except writing this sentence.

NFL regular season starts tonight. I told the guy that is playing me in fantasy football this weekend that he better have some players playing tonight so that he will have a head start because he will need it. Let it be known this is my first year to ever play fantasy football and I have no idea what I am doing.

This morning I pretended that weather was getting cooler. The air conditioner in my car was on and it had me thinking that the leaves would soon begin changing colors. Then I noticed that all the trees around were pines.

Thank goodness Apple put the little "R" and "L" on the earphones. Otherwise I would go crazy trying to determine which ear piece goes in which ear. If the right goes in the left ear the world is not right and I will hear everything backwards.

The LSU guy at work made some BBQ sauce and I took a bottle. It's taking everything in me to not drink it right now.

Going to Starkville, MS next weekend for some Bulldog Bash and the Miss St vs Auburn football game. The last time I went to a home game against Auburn I took the largest cowbell anyone has ever seen. Made the front sports page of multiple newspapers and even the beloved Mississippi State year book. My roommate was so proud.

I listened to my first full length speech by a politician last night. She held my attention the entire time. I have never felt more like an American citizen than I did last night. That was until Big and Rich came on to sing.

What NFL team was the first to win the Vince Lombardi trophy five times?

Last entry's answer was the Cincinnati Bengal's.

back from blogcation

I missed it.

While I was gone:

• Survived "Hurricane" number one of the season. Edouard was the laughing stock of the neighborhood. The local thunderstorm a week later showed him up.
  
• The co-ed softball team proved to be worthless by winning only one game all season. Then on top of that, some rather large fellow ran over me at home plate in the last game. I will never cover someone else's position again.
  
• Blogger changed everything on me.
• 21 has remained my favorite number while green is barely hanging on as my favorite color.
  
• The Hurricane Pole is still keeping on.
• Another hurricane is has formed and is heading towards me again. The super awesome NASA Hurricane Computer Bags are coming back out for the weekend.
• Swam in the pool once.
• Wore the same shirt more than three times in a row.
• Mopped floor with my two fantasy football drafts.
  
• Began riding my bike again.
  
• Bought five t-shirts from a website because I kept wearing the same shirt too much.
  
• Cried when the Olympics ended.
  

Tonight is the start of the College Football Season 2008-2009. I have been waiting days and days and days and days for this moment and it is finally upon us. Mississippi State will travel to a little unknown school in Louisiana for what will hopefully/better be win by at least 75 points. If not I will do something out of the ordinary.

"You disgust me" That's what I read on the subject of an email this morning. Thank goodness it wasn't mine. As I was exiting the "Sports Lounge", with coffee, at the apartment this morning I glanced over at some dude's email and that's what it read. He never would turn around so I am still wondering if he was crying or not. He was wearing a blue and white t-shirt in case anyone was wondering.

The new softball season starts in two weeks. I will predict that we will win every game by at least thirte...I mean twelve points. This is not the co-ed team because if so I would predict that we will lose every game by thirteen points.

What NFL team introduced the no-huddle offense during the 1980s?

Last entry's answer was tug-of-war.

can't believe i just posted

Today I wore full length socks and the feeling resembles that of wearing socks with sandals. I've been thinking about cutting them with scissors into homemade ankle socks. Then I would worry about them feeling too loose around the ankle. Either way, I feel like I made the worst mistake of the month of August. Thank goodness the month is almost over.

The thought hit me a while ago; do urinal producers calculate the angle that will best minimize splash back. I'm sorry all women readers for that horrible brain thought. Let the record show that this did not occur to me while I was at a urinal.

The Dave Matthews Band finally made it back to Houston. Dave himself complained about the hot weather then said the people were all very pretty. I would've used direct quotes but I don't remember the exact words he used. Then his show rocked my shoes off. I stood in the grass barefooted and danced my booty off by only swaying my hips, legs, head, and torso.

Ever since the Olympics have been on I have been late for work everyday. The USA National Anthem almost brings tears to my eyes each and every time it's played.

The tallest lady I have ever seen just walked into my office. I have no idea how she ties her shoes.

Last entry's answer was three.

What contest of team strength was an official Olympic event from 1900 to 1920?

don't get to excited just yet

I'm back because there is a natural disaster on the way and this might be my farewell note.

Most Americans, even those located on the Gulf of Mexico, do not know that there is a weak hurricane/tropical storm in the Gulf. Well, someone who is aware is taking full action, NASA is on the scene. We are on Hurricane Lock Down. Talks of JSC closing down are being passed around like its hot. Bags are being gathered that are labeled "Hurricane Bags." A "Hurricane Bag" is for protecting all hardware located in your work area, computers, monitors, phones, chairs, garbage cans. Everyone is required to have one. Yes, even those people who are located on the second floor, in the middle of the building, with no windows. Cover your stuff! I plan on covering my entire work area with a pop up tent.

We played softball in the rain and lightening last night. I wasn't scared. My bat is made of composite materials and I don't have any metal plates in my head.

More updates on Tropical Storm Edouard: Some guy, who has the name of a male anatomy, is running around freaking out because he has to cover the TVs in the windowless room. I just looked at him.

If these useless trash bags…correction, "Hurricane Bags" do not perform perfectly, NASA as we know it, may never be the same. Please people, keep those fingers crossed as we go through this time of crisis. The United States, The World, The Universe, and The Olympics are depending on these bags.

Let it be known that I am extremely, probably the most I have ever been, excited about the Olympics starting this weekend.

Last real entry's post answer was the sixteenth.

How many of Carl Lewis' Olympic gold medals were won in long jump competitions?

it's over

The End

it took a long time to gather this much

I've already forgot what I last said to the world last time. If I repeat myself then quit reading and tell someone important. But don't worry, the pregnant girl gave me a banana.

Everyone was wearing their sunglasses in the hall just a few minutes ago. There were only three people but that was everyone. Except for me. For once in my life I did not want to be considered as part of the "everyone" group. Mainly because I don't wear my sunglasses inside on a cloudy day.

I learned that my business card is not up to date. I don't care because I still think it's cool to even have a business card.

Softball was last night. The first game was totally awesome. I can't even remember if we had a second game though. Don't ever ask me about it either.

Christmas is already being planned for me. For the first time ever in the history of Matt, there will be a white Christmas! Sorry for such nonsense excitement 6 months early. It's what I do now, being a "young professional", plan in advance.

What century did mathematicians first use plus and minus signs?

Last entry's answer was the chimpanzee.

holy cow!

The river float was riveting. Best part was loosing the roommate and him having to float most of the river alone. I'm willing to bet money he cried and was probably scared. This better not make all the girls feel sorry for him. I suggest we keep him on a leash next time.

Softball was last night and we won the first and the other one doesn't even matter. I'm willing to bet that one of the teams cheated, because I said so. My performance was just ok. Next week I guarantee it to be the best anyone has ever witnessed in the state of Texas. If not, I'll go shirtless to work all week, maybe.

The giant blow up sea turtle of mine took up almost a quarter of the apartment pool. I didn't care as long as I was able to float and stay dry. All the little kids were jealous of me. One tried to squirt me with a water gun but his mom saw and gave him the look. It didn't work, I still got wet.

What's the most intelligent mammal after man?

Last entry's answer was the dishwasher.

one lame post

I left my body board at the pool outside the condo at the conclusion of Beach Trip 2008. Two main reasons for this: the string came off and it smelt like raw oysters. That's all that needs to be said on this issue.

A friend and some other friends and I are going to float a river tomorrow. It sounds a little slow but I'll be sure to wear my new bathing suit to speed things up a bit.

I have nothing else to say today.

What kitchen invention took the top prize at the 1893 Chicago World's Fair?

Last entry's answer was tuna salad with mayo.

beach trip 2008 in a short but informative review

Beach Trip 2008 did not suck. Condo was awesome, weather was great, water was cold. Who knew that water in the Gulf of Mexico was cold in July? I didn't.

I bit into my apple this morning and it had already gone bad. I threw it in the garbage can outside. Maybe some little squirrel can enjoy my misfortune. Then someone will get mad because some little squirrel is playing in the trash just trying to survive. I have no idea if I did a good thing or not now.

I littered the beach with 1500 feet of kite string upon my final exit from the sand at the end of Beach Trip 2008. Utility Al's shark kite flew to a new Beach Trip record, an altitude of 1500 plus feet. Once above 1000 feet the label of "height" becomes "altitude". This is not official terminology but one that I have created to sound more intelligent. I cut the string and watched in excitement as the kite slowly descended. I hope some kid has as much happiness as you can have with a free kite.

The most important lesson I learned on Beach Trip 2008, don't eat oysters in May, June, July, or August. Only eat them in months with the letter 'R', also known as January, February, March, April, September, October, November, and December. Or else.

Now, Father Rob's theme song from Beach Trip 2008.
"Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:

I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome"
"Handlebars" by Flobots

What deli sandwich topped Dateline NBC's list for total fat content - a Reuben, BLT or tuna salad with mayo?

Last entry's answer was Germany

be back in a few days

Dear Internet, I'll be gone a few days. Have fun while I'm gone. But not too much fun. Enough fun to have fun.

This is one of those days that I wish I had a twin to send to work instead of myself.

Do edible undies taste good?

Beach Trip 2008 takes place tomorrow. I couldn't be more excited in my life than I am right now. Except for that one day I found a $10 bill in my pocket. To make the trip even more fun I bought a blow up sea turtle, inner tube, beach ball, flat raft, and a Winnie the Pooh kite. I wanted Toy Story but it cost $5 compared to $1 that I paid.

How come paid isn't spelled payed. That would make more sense to me. Some poor kid in high school English class in Italy could've made an A if it weren't for that. I'm sure that has happened to at least one Italian in the history of Italians learning English.

What country boasts the world's oldest active brewery, dating back to 1040 A.D,.?

Last entry's answer was Haiti.

the astros won but...

My forehead was peeling this morning and with the new haircut I don't have much hair to cover it up. I hope no one looks at me today.

Astros game was just ok last night. We sat in the only section that had coordinated fans. They cheered the entire game. It was all thanks to this one little girl who had long blond hair with a pink hat turned sideways. She didn't use her chair for sitting, but rather for standing to project her voice over the crowd. She stood the whole game while yelling "Let's Go Astros!!" Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. No sort of originality at all, same cheer over and over. I gave her a few turns of my head in her direction, but they did nothing. She'd look back and wonder why on earth I wasn't clapping. I did however participate in the wave. I put forth a lot of effort by sacrificing both arms and a yell, "Whoooooo!"

The girl that sits next to me at work sounds like the boss from Office Space. "Yeaaaaaaaaah."

I moved up a row last night because some tall old dude with funky hair sat directly in front of me. All I could see was the batter, hair and scalp, and the outfield. Still not sure if the move up was a good idea or not. Row 36 happened to be the busiest row in the entire stadium. Each row dweller was constantly taking turns getting up and going somewhere. I was sitting on the aisle. That one little boy probably peed about 6 times and somehow could not coordinate a pee break at the same time as going to the gift shop. The roommate also became aware that he shares the same cologne as an old man.

What volatile nation was the first Caribbean country to gain independence?

Last entry's answer was Australia.

my new haircut is ok

Astros game tonight. I wanted to wear my blue shirt tonight but they're playing the Dodgers. Would it be dishonorable of me to wear it anyways but still wear my Astros hat even though I know they're playing the Dodgers? If someone were to say something I would just tell them all my other clothes were dirty. Then that would be a lie because I did laundry last night. My situation I have here is beating me up inside. It would probably be best to paint my on my chest the words "Go Team" in black letters.

Summer Beach Trip 2008 is Thursday. I wish there were flags to put on my windows so everyone would know where I'm going. Maybe I'll just write all over my windows with that white stuff. "Beach or Bust." "Summer Beach Trip 2008." "Matt #21." That should be enough.

Got a new haircut on Saturday. I don't think I have ever looked any better in my life than I do right now. Actually it's just an ok haircut. I try to fool myself but there is a mirror next to my desk.

What continent is cut into two fairly equal halves by the Tropic of Capricorn?

Last entry's answer was Pirouette.

the law of the land can't contain me

Today I wanted to be a good law abiding citizen. No one ever told me it was going to be so hard. Driving the speed limit isn't an easy. Ok, truthfully I wasn't going the speed limit but roughly 5-10 mph over. But still, that wasn't easy in this traffic. Especially with people passing me like I was standing still and spitting on me. Yeah, someone spit on my windshield. Some rather large peon driving an over sized milk truck spit on my windshield. Just because I was going 7 over the limit doesn't mean you have spit on me. I clean my car/truck/suv, drive the speed limit, sort of, and this is the thanks I get? I'm just happy I have a windshield.

Symphony in the park tonight. If it's half as good as it was last weekend I'll show up on time this go around.

I had some tomato basil soup last night and it was truly a party in the mouth. A very formal, wearing a tux kind of party. If I could eat that stuff everyday I would. More than likely for breakfast, lunch, dinner and 4th meal.

What's the ballet term for a 360-degree turn on one foot?

Last entry's answer was Mecca.

working for the weekend

I worked 11 hours yesterday. No one else has as much endurance as me. Someone should probably give me an award for breaking the previous record for total hours worked in one day. This major achievement was done on little food, little sleep and pure Matt will power. I fee like a champion.

My Xbox broke the other day. I have played an average of 2 hours per week since mid October. I feel lost without it now. There is a blank spot under the TV with just ugly wires hanging out. It hasn't been confirmed yet, but I plan on blaming the broken video game system on the roommate's new TV. Ever since the larger upgrade nothing has worked correctly. I feel like breaking something now. Maybe I'll tie knots in all his shoe strings.

I did nothing last night and it was great. Tonight is Fiesta Night 2008 in my apartment. 58 people were invited and I expect 2 to show up. That number also is including me.

What Saudi Arabian city was the birthplace of the prophet Muhammad?

Last entry's was Placid.