the weekend wedding was just ok

I survived a wedding weekend in the Music City, barely. The only disappointments were that there was no rice to throw, I only got to walk down the aisle for the exit, the groom did not cry, our hotel was hosting the gray haired convention of Opry Land, and I didn't catch the garter. Whenever I get married and if by some freak accident I cry, I'll just leave right then to save myself the humility.

Garter makers should really consider adding a little extra elastic into their product.

Someone should kick me for not taking the $300 and catching a later flight on Sunday. Just don't kick me in the face.

Why is it called a restroom? If I ever own a super mall, movie theater or gas station I'll call it the reliefroom.

I was watching the beginning of Life, some TV show, last night and it proved to be very unrealistic. The smart detective was unable to figure out the automatic sink and soap dispenser. I turned it off and vowed to never watch it again.

Yesterday I wore a gray polo and froze. Today I'm wearing a green long sleeve button up and am still freezing. I hate my desk more than anything ever and the colors of my shirt do not matter.

Softball is tonight. I am going to predict a complete blowout by our team. By blowout I mean our team will win at any costs. I do mean by any costs.

Guy Who Played At LSU told me I have to buy him a lunch because his team beat mine. That is the worst idea ever. If anyone should be providing lunch it should be him. My team lost and I'm down. Getting him lunch will get me down even more because I'll be out a whole lunch. So, I told him tomorrow lunch will be on me. Lucky me, there will be a free lunch provided by NASA tomorrow that he knows nothing about.

Is interlocking fingers a more intimate way of holding hands? If so, me and my bride's maid were intimate together. The roommate and his bride's maid were not because she was married. She refused to interlock fingers and now they will look like total strangers in the pictures. He ruined the wedding photographs because of this. Except for those two where I didn't smile.

Lastly, the new Ben Folds CD comes out today. Go buy it, enjoy it or else.

What is the minimum number of musicians a band must have to be considered a "big band"?

Last entry's answer was cork.