Monday, June 30, 2008

my new haircut is ok

Astros game tonight. I wanted to wear my blue shirt tonight but they're playing the Dodgers. Would it be dishonorable of me to wear it anyways but still wear my Astros hat even though I know they're playing the Dodgers? If someone were to say something I would just tell them all my other clothes were dirty. Then that would be a lie because I did laundry last night. My situation I have here is beating me up inside. It would probably be best to paint my on my chest the words "Go Team" in black letters.

Summer Beach Trip 2008 is Thursday. I wish there were flags to put on my windows so everyone would know where I'm going. Maybe I'll just write all over my windows with that white stuff. "Beach or Bust." "Summer Beach Trip 2008." "Matt #21." That should be enough.

Got a new haircut on Saturday. I don't think I have ever looked any better in my life than I do right now. Actually it's just an ok haircut. I try to fool myself but there is a mirror next to my desk.

What continent is cut into two fairly equal halves by the Tropic of Capricorn?

Last entry's answer was Pirouette.

Friday, June 27, 2008

the law of the land can't contain me

Today I wanted to be a good law abiding citizen. No one ever told me it was going to be so hard. Driving the speed limit isn't an easy. Ok, truthfully I wasn't going the speed limit but roughly 5-10 mph over. But still, that wasn't easy in this traffic. Especially with people passing me like I was standing still and spitting on me. Yeah, someone spit on my windshield. Some rather large peon driving an over sized milk truck spit on my windshield. Just because I was going 7 over the limit doesn't mean you have spit on me. I clean my car/truck/suv, drive the speed limit, sort of, and this is the thanks I get? I'm just happy I have a windshield.

Symphony in the park tonight. If it's half as good as it was last weekend I'll show up on time this go around.

I had some tomato basil soup last night and it was truly a party in the mouth. A very formal, wearing a tux kind of party. If I could eat that stuff everyday I would. More than likely for breakfast, lunch, dinner and 4th meal.

What's the ballet term for a 360-degree turn on one foot?

Last entry's answer was Mecca.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

working for the weekend

I worked 11 hours yesterday. No one else has as much endurance as me. Someone should probably give me an award for breaking the previous record for total hours worked in one day. This major achievement was done on little food, little sleep and pure Matt will power. I fee like a champion.

My Xbox broke the other day. I have played an average of 2 hours per week since mid October. I feel lost without it now. There is a blank spot under the TV with just ugly wires hanging out. It hasn't been confirmed yet, but I plan on blaming the broken video game system on the roommate's new TV. Ever since the larger upgrade nothing has worked correctly. I feel like breaking something now. Maybe I'll tie knots in all his shoe strings.

I did nothing last night and it was great. Tonight is Fiesta Night 2008 in my apartment. 58 people were invited and I expect 2 to show up. That number also is including me.

What Saudi Arabian city was the birthplace of the prophet Muhammad?

Last entry's was Placid.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

from my view point

After I left the game last night, traffic turned into a nightmare. A nightmare full of WWE fans. I knew they were fans of the fake because they were all walking out of the Toyota Center with their chests blown up and humongous gold belts across their shoulder. Then I saw the truck that said WWE.

I observed a grown man hitting on a woman last night at the game. He came to watch the Astros, she came for the Rangers. 5th inning she was wearing his Astros hat, he was booing umpire calls that were in favor of the Astros. 6th and 7th innings they were no where to be seen. Top of the 8th they return together and she was still wearing the Astros hat and he cheered for both teams. Ballgame! she left with his hat, he chased her down.

I got to work super early this morning and it started to rain. My umbrella is very small and my pants still got wet. I considered calling in sick but I continued my unsatisfying walk through the parking lot to my building.

Some peon just emailed me, "Could you send a pic of the ent center." I replied, "Could you use proper English?"

At which Lake were the 1980 Winter Olympic held?

Last entry's answer was Radio City Music Hall.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

what my plans are, just incase

If my car ever broke down in front of an adult store and I needed to use their phone but they wouldn't let me unless I bought something, I would buy edible undies. Then I would call for help and also let them know I have a snack so there would be no need for a rush.

As I was eating lunch, The Girl Who Doesn't Like Me Laughing turned around and saw me trying to push too many chips into my mouth. She always makes me feel like an underachiever.

Astros game tonight. They're giving away free t-shirts tonight to the first 10,000 fans. If I don't get one I'll pay someone for theirs. I also plan on buying a $9 coke so I'll get another one of those Astros collector cups. They make everything taste better. The ice cream in the helmet is a ripoff.

What New York City landmark is the largest movie theater in the U.S.?

Last entry's answer was Cal Ripkin Jr.

Monday, June 23, 2008

peanut oil makes concrete floors slick

I started the day off on the wrong foot. Tried to be somewhat healthier and bought "natural" peanut butter for my daily lunch pb&j sandwich. Opening the new jar of "natural" peanut butter turned out to be a disaster. I might have turned the jar sideways when trying to open it but you can't fault me for that. The lid was on tight. There must have been 3 tablespoons of peanut oil on the top. So of course, it goes all over my left shoe and pant leg. I really wish I would have screamed, but I didn't. Considering my options, I opted to continue making the lunch since it wasn't going to fix itself. Then I changed pants. The khakis went straight to the dirty clothes bin now which was total disappointment since I didn't even get to wear them once since the last wash. This has now put me in a terrible mood and I feel like blaming someone, anyone. If you would consider being blamed please email me before COB tomorrow. I've always wanted to use COB but have never felt it necessary until now.

Mandatory overtime kicks in today. I'm going to have to put it on hold though. Going to the Astros game tomorrow evening. I bought a new hat just for this occasion. It's dark blue.

HD television is slightly better than regular cable viewing. I would recommend it to anyone who wears contacts or glasses or has considered wearing contacts or glasses. For the record, I don't wear contacts but I know people who do and they like HD tv better.

Who homered in his third straight game on the day he beat Lou Gehrig's record for consecutive games?

Last entry's question was toy train.

Friday, June 20, 2008

taco meat

Made tacos last night with the anything that was present in the fridge. I had no cheese, lettuce, or tomatoes, just taco meat. If anyone else would have made them they probably would have only been fair. Mine were excellent, sort of. I think I'll go shopping today and try again tonight.

There was nothing good on TV last night and the Astros got beat again. They stink.

"That's Nasty" is back on Baseball Tonight. I am rejoicing on the inside.

Big Boss is enforcing mandatory overtime for me starting next week. Again, I am rejoicing on the inside. He told me the maximum I can put in is 60 hours a week and I am to work on nothing else except my secret project. Talks have even resurfaced about a temp peon working under me. So once again I requested a sorority sister from a local college. They're thinking of a grandma instead.

In 1901, this became the first toy in the world to be powered by electricity.

Last entry's answer was Georgia.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

jelly is sticky

Third day in a row.

I'm eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich today, like I do everyday. This particular sandwich has too much jelly between the pieces of bread. It's getting everywhere. I've had to wipe jelly off my mouse, lick my finger and wipe again. That's how disgusting this stuff is. I have considered eating my sandwiches without using my hands but The Girl Who Doesn't Like My Laughing will probably complain. Either way I look at this, my lunch will never be the same.

The Roommate bought a big TV last night. I beat him at video game hockey and it was a sweet victory. He should probably get rid of this TV and try again with an even bigger one.

The sticky is on my forearms because I am typing. My work day productivity is now ruined. I will only copy and paste words for the remainder of the day.

What southeastern state was the last to return to the Union after the Civil War.

Last entry's answer was Japan.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

so fresh and so clean

Started on the new bottle of "shampoo" this morning. It didn't seem to lather very well and I thought it was because of the new slight change in the bottle design. Well, it turns out that I bought conditioner instead of shampoo. I have no idea how I could ever make such a huge mistake. Surely the Better Head of Hair Company wouldn't disguise the bottles so they look almost exactly alike. It turns out they did. I considered using body wash to wash my hair but I didn't. I got out of the shower and fished the old bottle of shampoo from the garbage. There was a dryer sheet that wouldn't come off and was making me angry so I gave up conditioned my hair instead. No one has commented on how beautiful my hair is today.

Sold my entertainment center already. That's what happens when you flex a muscle on Craigslist.

I helped a helpless girl yesterday with her car problems. She bought a new battery and I changed it. I'm pretty sure she was impressed with my extensive tool set and my ability to tighten and loosen bolts.

The Better Head of Hair Company is a made up name to protect the makers of that Pro-V stuff.

What country used weather-born balloons to drop more than a hundred bombs on North America during World War II.

Last entry's answer was the White House.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

tuesday VII

The weekend was fun. That should tell you everything you need to know.

I'm trying to make a little extra money on the side. If anyone wants to help in this cause and get something really cool click my link. This is the link to get something cool and help Matt make more money.

So far I'm 2 for 2 in racing the neighbor in her little four door Honda. Raced on the way home from work yesterday evening. She lost. Then we left about the same time this morning and I passed her on the interstate. She didn't know it was a race but she lost anyways.

Sorry for turning my blog into a cash cow today. I want to go to Cash Camp later this summer.

Saw The Happening last night and had to sit on the front row. The place was packed. No where to sit 5 people except on the bottom section, second row. This move had so many facial close ups of Marky Mark that I even dreamed I was in a M. Night Shyamalan movie. Then I woke up.

I had something else entertaining to write about but I can't remember. This will be it.

What got a new balcony, front portico and two extra chimneys on the back of $20 bills, in 1948?

Last entry's answer was the orbital period of Mars is 686.9726 days.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

friday gets short

This week was pretty lame. The only excitement I've had is peeling the dried skin from the sunburn. I can stand in front of that mirror for hours and just peel and peel some more. What is it with peeling sunburned skin that is so amusing? If I only I could go to the bathroom here at work and peel.

Plans are finally made for The Beach Trip 2008. I just now officially gave it a title. If the other people going on the trip don't like then they don't have to go. Or they can politely email me an even better name. I like The Beach Trip 2008, it tells exactly what it is in a nice short title. No confusion here.

HR Lady's floor plan proposal for our new office was accidentally leaked out. I didn't like it so I changed it for my own personal comfort. Gave myself a TV, sofa, two leather chairs, and a green plant for the corner. I think more work will be done in a more efficient manner now. Her small cubical for me was out of the question. Now I need some guts to go show her. She scares me.

How long is a Martian year?

Last entry's answer was Coco Puffs.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

that ball of fire in the sky hurts

Who knew that the sun was so harmful. All day Saturday I was at the pool and soon after I began to understand why it was a bad idea, oh well got to live up to the motto. That's right, sun's out, guns out. That's my new motto I learned from someone not as cool as me. He could never beat me up so I can publish that statement. After basking in the Houston heat all afternoon I soon realized that I'm not the same kid from the years past that never wore sunscreen. I am in pain right now. Have been now since Saturday evening. My skin color is no longer a beautiful human hue but more that of a red crayon. I radiate heat. After a shower I don't even need a towel. The water can't wait to escape my presence, it prefers the steam state. Mirrors fog over when I walk into a restroom. Ice doesn't stand a chance in my cup. I am flat out hot and sick of it.

I bought an iron and an ironing board yesterday. I even ironed my underwear last night.

We just punked someone. It took about 1 week but it finally worked. The vacant computer that suspenders left has an awesome sound system connected to it. Large speakers, sub, even more awesome speakers. So last week or so I turned up the volume all they in hopes that some peon would come around and turn the computer on like on that video. You know, the start up noise one. Over here. Well anyways, it worked. Totally freaked the computer tech out. I laughed.

I've slacked on this. I'm sorry people. I'm sorry friends. I'm sorry President Bush.

Last night I wanted to cry. The sunburn began producing large volumes of itch everywhere. Approximately 12:12 I woke up with some itch being dispersed across my chest and back. Nothing a little aloe can't fix....I don't think so, this Banana Boat "aloe" crap made it worse! The itch spread and then morphed into pain. Pills did't help, cold shower did nothing, neither did that manly smelling body wash. The pain wouldn't quit. I felt like throwing something at my mirror but that would probably make things worse. So what'd I do, I had mom sooth me to calmness with her sweet words. Thanks Mom. Thanks Special Friend for sweet words when mom had to sleep.

What breakfast cereal was Sonny the Cuckoo Bird "cuckoo for"?

Last entry's answer was 5.

Friday, June 6, 2008

it's finally friday...i'm free again, almost

NBA Finals were last night and I only watched part of the second quarter, most of the third and none of the fourth. My favorite part happened when the guy came back from the locker room and everyone cheered. That would make me feel like a million dollars and makes me want to dunk three times in a row. The first being a tomahawk, second a through the legs, and finally a 360. The crowd goes wild.

Yesterday I worked mission support, again. This time I had been upgraded to a higher position but the work was less than before. I was the Coordinator. I say that like Arnold Schwarzenegger says Terminator. I think they just like having me in there because I have a pretty face and I know a few jokes. I showed them and didn't tell a single joke the entire time. Woo!

Who knew pistachios were so freaking addictive? I think I ate about 234 of them yesterday. No idea whose they were but I just keep eating them. They're like crack in the form of a nut. It wouldn't surprise me if drugs, cigarettes, and beer were made from pistachios. I woke up this morning thinking about them and my mouth began to salivate. Salivate is a gross word.

Sorry for saying "Woo!" in the second paragraph. It was really unnecessary.

If you let water sit long enough to cool or warm to room temperature and then put some on your skin, why does it feel cooler?

My fantasy baseball team has gone to crap over the past 3-4 weeks. I feel like throwing my computer but I won't. It would cost me too much to replace a broken government computer, or not.

I deleted the paragraph that was here because I thought it was stupid and a waste of time and space.

Someone is in the hall way decked out in asbestos survival gear. He's wearing the full outfit and a face mask while digging around in the ceiling stirring up all sorts of crazy dust. In the back of my mind I don't see this as safe. What's keeping me from inhaling trash? He does have the small area he is working in taped off with caution tape though. As if the harmful dust would stay in that confined area only. Sometimes I just wonder. Sorry the picture is a little fuzzy, I think it was because of all the harmful dust in the air.

Lost Boys: Rufio! Rufio! Ru-Fi-OOOOOOOOOOOOOh!

How many NBA titles did Magic Johnson help the Lakers win as a player?

Last entry's answer was the Bulls.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

i happen to like my blue jeans

The lady who sits behind me really needs to invest in some sort of headphones for her phone. I'm sick and tired of listening to her speaker phone crap. There's always something going on that she has to listen to. Conference calls, missions, or doctor reports, it's always something and it's very annoying. I can often hear the noise from her phone over my own earphones. She doesn't even add her two cents to the conference. I think she does it just to annoy me and it's working.

HR Lady got irritated with me this morning. It was my fault because I wore blue jeans. She asked me into her office to aid in locating the problem with her phone cord and why the phone wasn't working. Apparently she wanted me to crawl on the ground under her desk because it doesn't matter if jeans get dirty. Before I go rolling around on the dirty floor I want to rule out other possibilities of the phone not working. Not HR Lady, she wanted me to get down and dirty right off the bat. I'm not ready for this just yet ma'am. So then I hear, "Never mind", and see her crawling under the desk. I just stood there. She came back up after a minute or so and said "Ok". That was my cue to leave. She made me feel awkward. I'm guessing she's only here because the weather isn't that nice today. I mean, who wants to "work" from home when it's cloudy?

I have a thing for Jewel. Is that still cool?

I just ate a peach. My peach didn't come from a can. The juice got all over my blue jeans. Wonder what HR Lady would think about that. Actually she probably wouldn't think anything and wonder why I was thinking about her thinking about peach juice on my blue jeans.

I need real music at work. The iTunes 30 second clips just aren't doing it for me. Plus it keeps asking me to put in my user name and password. Since when does "later" mean 4 song clips ago?

What was the first NBA team to win 70 games or more in the regular season?

Last entry's answer was mushrooms.