Monday, July 28, 2008

it's over

The End

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

it took a long time to gather this much

I've already forgot what I last said to the world last time. If I repeat myself then quit reading and tell someone important. But don't worry, the pregnant girl gave me a banana.

Everyone was wearing their sunglasses in the hall just a few minutes ago. There were only three people but that was everyone. Except for me. For once in my life I did not want to be considered as part of the "everyone" group. Mainly because I don't wear my sunglasses inside on a cloudy day.

I learned that my business card is not up to date. I don't care because I still think it's cool to even have a business card.

Softball was last night. The first game was totally awesome. I can't even remember if we had a second game though. Don't ever ask me about it either.

Christmas is already being planned for me. For the first time ever in the history of Matt, there will be a white Christmas! Sorry for such nonsense excitement 6 months early. It's what I do now, being a "young professional", plan in advance.

What century did mathematicians first use plus and minus signs?

Last entry's answer was the chimpanzee.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

holy cow!

The river float was riveting. Best part was loosing the roommate and him having to float most of the river alone. I'm willing to bet money he cried and was probably scared. This better not make all the girls feel sorry for him. I suggest we keep him on a leash next time.

Softball was last night and we won the first and the other one doesn't even matter. I'm willing to bet that one of the teams cheated, because I said so. My performance was just ok. Next week I guarantee it to be the best anyone has ever witnessed in the state of Texas. If not, I'll go shirtless to work all week, maybe.

The giant blow up sea turtle of mine took up almost a quarter of the apartment pool. I didn't care as long as I was able to float and stay dry. All the little kids were jealous of me. One tried to squirt me with a water gun but his mom saw and gave him the look. It didn't work, I still got wet.

What's the most intelligent mammal after man?

Last entry's answer was the dishwasher.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

one lame post

I left my body board at the pool outside the condo at the conclusion of Beach Trip 2008. Two main reasons for this: the string came off and it smelt like raw oysters. That's all that needs to be said on this issue.

A friend and some other friends and I are going to float a river tomorrow. It sounds a little slow but I'll be sure to wear my new bathing suit to speed things up a bit.

I have nothing else to say today.

What kitchen invention took the top prize at the 1893 Chicago World's Fair?

Last entry's answer was tuna salad with mayo.

beach trip 2008 in a short but informative review

Beach Trip 2008 did not suck. Condo was awesome, weather was great, water was cold. Who knew that water in the Gulf of Mexico was cold in July? I didn't.

I bit into my apple this morning and it had already gone bad. I threw it in the garbage can outside. Maybe some little squirrel can enjoy my misfortune. Then someone will get mad because some little squirrel is playing in the trash just trying to survive. I have no idea if I did a good thing or not now.

I littered the beach with 1500 feet of kite string upon my final exit from the sand at the end of Beach Trip 2008. Utility Al's shark kite flew to a new Beach Trip record, an altitude of 1500 plus feet. Once above 1000 feet the label of "height" becomes "altitude". This is not official terminology but one that I have created to sound more intelligent. I cut the string and watched in excitement as the kite slowly descended. I hope some kid has as much happiness as you can have with a free kite.

The most important lesson I learned on Beach Trip 2008, don't eat oysters in May, June, July, or August. Only eat them in months with the letter 'R', also known as January, February, March, April, September, October, November, and December. Or else.

Now, Father Rob's theme song from Beach Trip 2008.
"Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:

I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome"
"Handlebars" by Flobots

What deli sandwich topped Dateline NBC's list for total fat content - a Reuben, BLT or tuna salad with mayo?

Last entry's answer was Germany

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

be back in a few days

Dear Internet, I'll be gone a few days. Have fun while I'm gone. But not too much fun. Enough fun to have fun.

This is one of those days that I wish I had a twin to send to work instead of myself.

Do edible undies taste good?

Beach Trip 2008 takes place tomorrow. I couldn't be more excited in my life than I am right now. Except for that one day I found a $10 bill in my pocket. To make the trip even more fun I bought a blow up sea turtle, inner tube, beach ball, flat raft, and a Winnie the Pooh kite. I wanted Toy Story but it cost $5 compared to $1 that I paid.

How come paid isn't spelled payed. That would make more sense to me. Some poor kid in high school English class in Italy could've made an A if it weren't for that. I'm sure that has happened to at least one Italian in the history of Italians learning English.

What country boasts the world's oldest active brewery, dating back to 1040 A.D,.?

Last entry's answer was Haiti.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

the astros won but...

My forehead was peeling this morning and with the new haircut I don't have much hair to cover it up. I hope no one looks at me today.

Astros game was just ok last night. We sat in the only section that had coordinated fans. They cheered the entire game. It was all thanks to this one little girl who had long blond hair with a pink hat turned sideways. She didn't use her chair for sitting, but rather for standing to project her voice over the crowd. She stood the whole game while yelling "Let's Go Astros!!" Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. No sort of originality at all, same cheer over and over. I gave her a few turns of my head in her direction, but they did nothing. She'd look back and wonder why on earth I wasn't clapping. I did however participate in the wave. I put forth a lot of effort by sacrificing both arms and a yell, "Whoooooo!"

The girl that sits next to me at work sounds like the boss from Office Space. "Yeaaaaaaaaah."

I moved up a row last night because some tall old dude with funky hair sat directly in front of me. All I could see was the batter, hair and scalp, and the outfield. Still not sure if the move up was a good idea or not. Row 36 happened to be the busiest row in the entire stadium. Each row dweller was constantly taking turns getting up and going somewhere. I was sitting on the aisle. That one little boy probably peed about 6 times and somehow could not coordinate a pee break at the same time as going to the gift shop. The roommate also became aware that he shares the same cologne as an old man.

What volatile nation was the first Caribbean country to gain independence?

Last entry's answer was Australia.