send complaints to someone else, i don't care

I hate talking to customer support services on the phone. I also hate using the word "hate". Why do the products I buy have people who speak broken English, working their phones? For the most part, I'm a pretty nice guy, so I've been told by my Mom. But when I get on the phone with Hakim from the other side of the world, my bad side comes out. I say words that I never thought existed outside of a ship. I threaten him with threats of hanging up. Call him an idiot and ask him if he even knows what a possum is. Then, I put him on hold and make him listen to country western music. Take that buddy. I'm not sorry.

I'm tired of this nasty smell! Stink really needs to do something about his problem. It's starting to tick me off. One day I'm going to blow up and I'll probably get fired. Then I'll never get another job because everyone in the world will have heard how I yelled at work. My life will probably be ruined because of this gaseous issue.

Click this if you're cool.

I fell off my bike again yesterday. Just when I get rid of the other biking scars, I add new ones. I feel tough.

I got stood up yesterday by the haircut lady. Just for that I'm going to call her a barber. They hate that. She better be there today, or else.

People who walk into my office area, say nothing, and then leave are weird. I make mean faces at them and make them feel dumb.

A friend of mine suggested that I invest in biking shorts. These are shorts that come with extra padding in the butt. I never knew this stuff existed. It's pretty much, in my opinion, an awesome idea for the bike enthusiast. Instead of spending lots of money on a padded saddle, just buy some shorts. The only problem that I'm worried about is how it will make my butt look when I ride past that blonde girl who runs in the park. I think she stares at my butt each time.

Communication was reestablished with My Future Wife yesterday. She texted me and I could tell she was excited. I didn't miss her that much, she can be mean at times.

Guy Who Hates Popcorn Smell never shakes hands. He always only fist bumps people. Is it called fist bumping? Well, it is now. It was a very awkward time when I went to shake his hand and he put a fist out instead. I didn't know what to do. So I just grabbed it. Then two fist grabs later I learned, from an observer's prospective, that he just wants a fist bump. I don't like fist bumping. The last time he fist bumped, he did it harder than what I was ready for. Now I'm ready for it. He's going to get a punch on his fist when I see him again. I hope this doesn't start a riot.

What airline started out as the first crop-dusting outfit to battle boll weevils?

Last entry's answer was the honor.

that face on the milk carton

If I ever go missing I would like a picture of me in snow goggles to be put on the milk carton.

Mom wants me to make a DVD with the pictures of the ski trip. Since I forgot to ask her what songs she wants me to use I'll probably just use Metallica, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and Hannah Montana. No wait, I dislike Hannah Montana. Make it The Cure instead of Miss Montana.

The roommate has become more and more wimpy over the past 6 months. Now, he can't handle the Crest White Strips. "My teeth hurt, why are they so sensitive." I told him before that he wouldn't be able to handle them like I could. Sometimes I wonder if I'm immune to pain.

Everyone else in America got snow this weekend except for Houston. I want a refund.

Last night we watched two episodes of Arrested Development Season 2. I could only hear one of the episodes. During the first one I was eating nachos, the crunching of chips in my head made it difficult to hear. It was only the Christmas episode, which means nothing to me in March.

A picture for your suffering. You're over halfway finished. Way to go reader.

Suspenders at work has becoming increasingly annoying over the past six months. I think he's jealous of me. I'm a good 30 plus years younger and probably make the same as him. Is that why he always pops his suspenders at me?

Last night was the Live Fantasy Baseball Draft 2008. I totally mopped floor with my picks. No picks from the Diamondbacks because they wear the color purple. Only players that wear red, black, dark blue, grey, and white can play on my team.

Ernie Capadion: Yeah, I'm just going home, grab a shower and shave, give the wife a little pickle-tickle, and I'm on my way.
-A League of Their Own

What word appears exactly 773,692 times in the King James Bible?

Last entry's answer was Roger Clemens.