monday mornings are never a blast

The cereal bars that I eat get crumbs everywhere. Such a pain in the buttocks but I deal with it. The only good to come of this is being able to use the can of air. The can with the WD-40 straw used to blow off the keyboard. I usually blow a lot of air out so it's cold with frost on the side and then hand it to someone else. Never seem to get the reaction that I had planned in my head.

Last night I read the proper procedure om how to remove a tongue stuck to a flag pole. Too bad I don't live in a climate region where this information would be useful.

I'm thinking about buying a bb gun to keep around the apartment. It will serve dual purposes. The first and most important being safety. The second and almost equally important being recreation. Suspenders never will send me pictures of the 12 gauge shotgun that he's selling so I'll just settle for a bb gun this month.

Traffic wasn't bad at 6 'freakin' a.m. this morning.

There was some new lady working in the cafeteria today. I'll never have her make me a sandwich again. If I'm next in line and she's working, I'll pretend I'm deaf or walk away. She totally screwed up my muffalleta. The wimpy part about it was that I watched her. I knew she was supposed to use olives but instead, I watched her put some reddish colored stuff on it. I cringed. Got back to my desk to discover that the reddish contents were onions. That's pretty much gross and uncool. I told someone about my sandwich ordering experience and she told me I was "lacking in assertion." I wish I would've called her out on some flaws for telling me that, but I didn't.

I told some girl twice today that I watched Into the Wild this weekend.

Some guy was walking down the hall with a very important look on his face. Not only did he look like he had some important news but he was in a pace that was halfway between walk and jog. I didn't want to make a scene or get hurt so I moved over and let him have the right side of the hall. As I turned around I soon realized what was so important. He darted into the restroom.

I'm being dominated at sports trivia on the third floor. It's getting to the point where it's very embarrassing.

What O-word describes oxygen with molecules that have three atoms instead of two?

Last entry's (two entries ago) answer was Hank Aaron.

3:10 to humongous

They rolled out the red carpet for me tonight. Actually it was faded red with some crazy confetti pattern. Pretty ugly stuff if you ask me. Whoever had the responsibility of choosing this walking material really needs to come visit my apartment. I have no carpet and am in dire need of some. The walmart feet every night is getting old. Brushing my feet before putting on socks or climbing into bed tickles. Anyways, back to the main story. I went to the world's largest movie theater tonight? I didn't mean to put a question mark there. How come they spell theater, like theatre? I bet Shakespeare invented that. I never enjoy acting his stuff out in high school. Ok, well it wasn't the largest cinema in the world but I thought it was. The sign in the lobby told me that it wasn't. An escalator took me to my viewing room. Wow! Back home the bookstore had the only escalator in the tri-county area. Way to go Houston, you won my heart.

Why was traffic bad today? If only I could remember the Houston traffic channel on XM.

This week seems to be an exciting week. Kind of. I probably just made that up to make everyone else who works a boring job jealous. If I were the boss I would tell all my employees that this is the best week ever, every week. More bosses should do that. People would be more productive throughout the year. I'll name it the Matt Producer. If anyone every uses this concept please credit me.

Ben Wade: Women will do things you'd never forget.
Doc Potter: They'll give you a disease you'd never forget.
-3:10 to Yuma

What southern U.S. state has no telephones in 12 percent of its households.?

Last entry's answer was Bluff Creek, CA.

lead foot

Houston is taking some getting use to. I'm from Small Town, Mississippi which has two red lights in the whole town. Houston itself is bigger than the entire state of Mississippi. Well, almost, maybe not, it could be. Yesterday a wreck on NASA 1, which I personally think is the worst highway in Texas as far as traffic is concerned, slowed me up and made the drive home much longer. I did manage to win the race home against the roommate. Today there were two wrecks on the interstate heading into downtown. That commotion double my drive home time compared to yesterday. Me 1, roommate 1. I'm going to own him tomorrow.

Today's Starbucks adventure ends on a crappy note. I stumble into the lobby to find that the machine is fully stocked with everything and is ready to produce some delicious brand name coffee. There are no cups. I look in every drawer, shelf, and cabinet. The guy in the Michigan shirt saw my temper flair as I threw the pool balls and cue. Ok, I made that up, there was no throwing except in my mind.

I really work at NASA.

I was beginning to doubt the intelligence of Carlos, the facility maintenance man. A request was put in for him to fix our ice maker. I turned the ice maker off because it was leaking water, what any normal person with common sense would do. His maintenance report yesterday was that there was no leak and everything looked fine. Carlos! I'm not going to leave it on to flood my apartment. Where's your head at? He did manage to fix the problem today. We have a new fridge and the doors open in the opposite direction now. Thanks Carlos.

Going back to the wreck traffic on the interstate. Pedro in the pick up truck directly in front of me must have paid the DMV off for his license or either he has a solid lead foot. Heavy on the gas, heavy on the brake. Heavy on the gas, heavy on the brake. Its bumper to bumper traffic. Take it easy Pedro.

Good news, I'm already lined up to travel for the new job. Watch out Baltimore, here I come! I'm staying in the second nicest hotel ever. Thanks new job.

What was the biggest city in America until 1755?

Last entry's answer was green.