assumptions make everything right

Word in the halls is that we might be knocked out of work Thursday and Friday. That is, if Mr Ike assumes his path towards Houston and does not loose any of his strength. This assumption is also assuming that Ike is a male.

Mississippi State managed to win the first game of the season by pounding some no-named school in Louisiana. Another assumption is assuming 34-10 is a pounding. I don't think it is but I wanted to use a term that would make us sound powerful and respectful. That last sentence probably messed everything up.

All weekend I watched football. My large mouth did not live up to the hype in fantasy league week one. If I had to put money on it, I would imagine that the league is rigged against me. It's like I am stuck in some sort of Truman Show plot.

I am a horrible gardener. At first I was proud of my skills for reviving two plants but now I am beginning to have second thoughts. I have killed two totally separate plants, twice each. The first is a member of the vine family and and now belongs to no family due to me dropping it completely out of the tub it was in. I did however, bring it back to life, only to kill it again. What was once green is now being consumed by brown and some yellowish color. The other, my favorite, is or was a pepper plant. It produces or produced green peppers that turn, yellow, then orange and finally red. Very cool. Now the entire plant is wilting away. This is the second time Oscar, figured I would give it a name since it is a favorite, has wilted away. I feel like giving up but I won't. There might be a third of even fourth life for these two.

I took the atomic fireball challenge just a few minutes ago. "I was man" are my exact words on how I performed. Never once removed it, except to see what color it was towards the very end. In case you were wondering, it turned white. My guess is that the red is the hot part.

What yard line must a football team drive to, to reach the "red zone"?

Last entry's answer was the San Francisco 49ers.

it's only 2:00, time is too slow at work

Someone is clipping their fingernails in the other office right now. It's so annoying and I cannot concentrate on anything at this very moment, except writing this sentence.

NFL regular season starts tonight. I told the guy that is playing me in fantasy football this weekend that he better have some players playing tonight so that he will have a head start because he will need it. Let it be known this is my first year to ever play fantasy football and I have no idea what I am doing.

This morning I pretended that weather was getting cooler. The air conditioner in my car was on and it had me thinking that the leaves would soon begin changing colors. Then I noticed that all the trees around were pines.

Thank goodness Apple put the little "R" and "L" on the earphones. Otherwise I would go crazy trying to determine which ear piece goes in which ear. If the right goes in the left ear the world is not right and I will hear everything backwards.

The LSU guy at work made some BBQ sauce and I took a bottle. It's taking everything in me to not drink it right now.

Going to Starkville, MS next weekend for some Bulldog Bash and the Miss St vs Auburn football game. The last time I went to a home game against Auburn I took the largest cowbell anyone has ever seen. Made the front sports page of multiple newspapers and even the beloved Mississippi State year book. My roommate was so proud.

I listened to my first full length speech by a politician last night. She held my attention the entire time. I have never felt more like an American citizen than I did last night. That was until Big and Rich came on to sing.

What NFL team was the first to win the Vince Lombardi trophy five times?

Last entry's answer was the Cincinnati Bengal's.

back from blogcation

I missed it.

While I was gone:

• Survived "Hurricane" number one of the season. Edouard was the laughing stock of the neighborhood. The local thunderstorm a week later showed him up.
  
• The co-ed softball team proved to be worthless by winning only one game all season. Then on top of that, some rather large fellow ran over me at home plate in the last game. I will never cover someone else's position again.
  
• Blogger changed everything on me.
• 21 has remained my favorite number while green is barely hanging on as my favorite color.
  
• The Hurricane Pole is still keeping on.
• Another hurricane is has formed and is heading towards me again. The super awesome NASA Hurricane Computer Bags are coming back out for the weekend.
• Swam in the pool once.
• Wore the same shirt more than three times in a row.
• Mopped floor with my two fantasy football drafts.
  
• Began riding my bike again.
  
• Bought five t-shirts from a website because I kept wearing the same shirt too much.
  
• Cried when the Olympics ended.
  

Tonight is the start of the College Football Season 2008-2009. I have been waiting days and days and days and days for this moment and it is finally upon us. Mississippi State will travel to a little unknown school in Louisiana for what will hopefully/better be win by at least 75 points. If not I will do something out of the ordinary.

"You disgust me" That's what I read on the subject of an email this morning. Thank goodness it wasn't mine. As I was exiting the "Sports Lounge", with coffee, at the apartment this morning I glanced over at some dude's email and that's what it read. He never would turn around so I am still wondering if he was crying or not. He was wearing a blue and white t-shirt in case anyone was wondering.

The new softball season starts in two weeks. I will predict that we will win every game by at least thirte...I mean twelve points. This is not the co-ed team because if so I would predict that we will lose every game by thirteen points.

What NFL team introduced the no-huddle offense during the 1980s?

Last entry's answer was tug-of-war.

some more thanks

The SEC has done it again, another National Championship. I want to thank my neighbor, the Ohio State fan, for letting me know how good Ohio State was throughout their sub-par season schedule. Thank you SEC for being the best conference and being able to walk on water. LSU owes Mississippi State a huge thank you for allowing them to beat us and hence giving them a shot at the National Championship. You're welcome, from Bulldog nation.

I got sick of the replay advertisements throughout the game last night. I don't care about the movie Jumper while I'm watching a football game. Bite me.

Thank you XM Newsletter email for introducing me to my new crush. She was presented in the form of an electronic letter. Her name is Ashley Tisdale and she is probably a big fan of NASA. If not, she is now. I hope.

Someone told me that I wasn't very nice. I think they're a liar.

This week I've been dreaming about skiing, snow, and ski lifts way too much. Thank you Utah for fulfilling my wildest dreams. I will soon return to the Rocky Mountains. If anyone who lives in the Rockies reads this and is in need of an aerospace engineer please contact me as soon as possible.

Does "As soon as possible" mean right now? I was the recipient of two unpleasantly read e-mails for use of this very term. Apparently, "As soon as possible" raises a few eye brows with the guys of NASA. They don't seem to have time to sign off on my flight hardware when I say "As soon as possible." I want to give an unthanks to the guy who first coined this phrase.

Last night I woke up at 3:43 a.m. and drank a whole bottle of water. My sheets were thrown everywhere. I'm glad no one walked in on me and saw this mess.

How many years must a player be retired to be eligible for the Pro Football Hall of Fame?

Last entry's answer was two days.

my piano skills don't suck

I officially don't miss the being in class part of college. The girls I do miss. Except that University of Houston Downtown doesn't enroll that many cuties. Maybe they're just not on the same level as me. I mean 7th floor as the level. Not that I'm smarter or anything. Martini thinks I'm a Geek. She wants to go on Beauty and the Geek with me as my partner. I'm so confused now. Think I'll just go play some Scrabble or read the encyclopedia instead.

I have a date to Utility Al's Wedding Rehearsal Dinner 2007. My Future Wife agreed to go with me. I was surprised actually. Obviously we're meant to be. I hope she reads this before Friday evening. I love you My Future Wife.

I'm Baptist, not Methodist. Thought I'd clear that up. Just in case you were wondering.

Roommate bought a new electric wine bottle opener. The owner's manual says to charge the device for 16 hours. Bull crap. Who on earth charges their new electronic toy for that long as soon as they get it? Not this apartment. After about 2 hours of charging I made him uncork a bottle the electronic way. In case the new toy broke, he'd be the one using it. That's probably why half my battery operated electronics only half way work. I never charge the full charge before the first use. Turn the crap on now.

I just got off the phone with Utility Al, I told him I was "hitting the sack." I lied. I'm blogging instead.

This is Mississippi State's week. I don't predict scores. 1, I'm not good at it. 2, I don't want to jinx, not that I would, but you know. 3, I don't have a third, just needed a number 3 because having 2 just looks stupid.

I miss playing the piano. Being younger and taking lessons was not the cool thing to do. Mom asked if I wanted to take piano lessons one day at the swimming pool and I said yes. Three years later I was begging to take it away. Now I just want to be like Ben Folds. He's a small guy with awesome piano skills. Sometimes I sit at home on the piano, back when I used to be at home, and beat out a few tunes. No one seemed to like it, "shut up in there, loser." My sister isn't nice. I probably won't get her anything for Christmas.

When will softball season start back? I'll probably hit 23 home runs. Or I could just play football. There's probably a team out there that needs me at quarterback. I hope one of those teams reads this. Or I could just build a dynasty around me. I'll be Tom Brady. Who wants to be Randy Moss? I had to put this paragraph in there so I would look more manly than the rest of the post. Did that sentence defeat the purpose?

What future Soviet dictator was training to be a priest when he got turned on to Marxism?

Last entry's answer was 11.

football and church

I don't blog on weekends. Period. Sunday night doesn't count.

Saturday I played a little football with some guys I didn't know at all. It wasn't little football either, I'm calling it big football. For the first time ever I was half way shy. After the five series they suggested that I play quarterback. I told them I was All-State in Mississippi my senior year and only All-District my freshman year. I wasn't shy much longer. After throwing 4 touchdowns, running one, and zero interceptions they were believers. Except for my roommate. He threw a flag and called me out. I told him to shut up and I'd throw him an interception. I didn't.

Houston was the only city in America not to broadcast the Patriots vs Colts game. We were able to watch our beloved Texans and well below par Raiders team play. Instead, I fell asleep in an awkward position and woke up with a sore neck for the third time in a week.

This morning I went to a new church. They had communion and I was slightly nervous. I've never had to leave my seat while doing this. It was a Methodist church, I'm not a Methodist. When it was my pew's turn to go I was even more nervous because I noticed that all the pews behind me were empty and the people were leaving the sanctuary. Where is everyone going? Are we leaving to get dessert? Then it hit me, those people are going to the balcony. I dodged a bullet.

Hooter's on Friday night was a horrible experience. I will not be going back for a long time.

My spacewalk shift was canceled on Saturday morning. I celebrated by sleeping in, playing football, watching football, and eating Chick-fil-A. Bama lost!

Tomorrow I'm going back to college for three days. I'm getting AutoCAD training!

Harry: Skis, huh?
Beth: That's right!
Harry: Great! They yours?
Beth: Uh-huh.
Harry: Both of 'em?
Beth: Yes.
Harry: Ah... cool!
-Dumb and Dumber

How many football teams play in the Big Ten Conference?

Last entry's answer was The Harlem Globetrotters.

just an ok post

World Series is over. That's all I have to say about that. Also a Mississippi State boy struck out an Ole Miss boy for the final out. That might have been on the only highlight of the game.

Tonight I have the graveyard shift again. Another spacewalk will take place super early tomorrow morning. What this means for me, work begins at 1:00 am. Note to self, don't eat those breakfast tacos from the cafeteria again. They make my stomach feel funny. Tonight I'll probably wear a hat and a red shirt, might not get a shower.

Everyone should read Father Rob's new blog. Click I like to eat pickles on my hamburger and I never said that Father Rob was hot. He wants everyone to tell him how semi-cool he thinks he but in reality he really is. Also, he collects stamps of the world. If anyone has an Elvis stamp from 1995 please send a photo verification to him and he will take further actions from there. More than likely he'll tell you it's fake because he's picky like that and doesn't like mayo.

This weekend was probably one of the best weekends that a handsome boy, Matt, could ask for. Mississippi State smeared the then 14th ranked Kentucky Wildcats. For approximately 135 minutes straight, I screamed, clapped, jumped, cried, threw stuff, and called someone that cared. Thank you Mississippi State. Thank you Coach Croom. Thank you Comcast. Thank you world.

Today is my cousin's birthday. He asked that everyone send him stickers of their favorite Ninja Turtle. But don't send the purple turtle, he is deathly afraid of the color purple.

"I remember walking in the clubhouse...And maybe that's the key..." - Jacoby Ellsbury, Boston
Red Sox

Team by team reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low playing, fine, then
Uh-oh overflow, population common food, but it'll do
Save yourself, serve yourself, world serves it's own needs
Listen to your heart bleed dummy with the rapture and the revered and the right, right
Vitreolic, patriotic stand, fight, bright, light
Feeling pretty psyched
-"End of the World As We Know It" by R.E.M.

I don't know why I put that song on here. At the time it seemed right. Right now it doesn't seem right.

Which will yield the most BTUs of energy--a gallon of oil, a pound of coal or a gallon of gasoline?

Last entry's answer was about 4.5 billion years old.

game night

Tonight is the first football game of the college season. ESPN has a countdown which I'm watching by the second. There is a bet riding on this game for me. If LSU happens to pull a miracle, I have to don LSU memorabilia (crap) on my desk at work. Or when everything goes to plan after Miss St's win, the ex-LSU football player here will proudly show off his new MSU cowbell I'll bring him. Those are my two girlfriends in the back with their backs turned. They're shy.

I hate when I try to blow a bubble with my gum and miss. The gum isn't stretched out to the correct size and when the time comes to blow into the gum something goes wrong because it slips instead. I seriously doubt that sentence made sense at all. It then results in a noise being made that sounds like me trying to make a farting sound. Slightly awkward when there is silence in the room. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this. Or just don't say anything at all.

This morning my coffee was ruined on the account of my roommate. He bragged about the cinnamon flavor being so good. One shot of that crap made my morning sour. I'll never listen to his advice again.

I hate the maintenance manual author. He puts in a blank page and then tells me that the page is blank "This page was intentionally left blank." No it wasn't, you put something on the page. Why?

"...Right now, it's all about Mississippi State." - Les Miles, LSU Head Football Coach

Hail dear 'ole State,
Fight for that victory today;
Hit that line and 'tote that ball;
Cross the goal before you fall,
And then we'll yell, yell, yell, yell!
For dear 'ole State we'll yell like h-e-l-l!
Fight for Mis-sis-sip-pi State,
Win that game today.
-Mississippi State Fight Song

What Great Lake state has more shoreline than the entire U.S. Atlantic seaboard?

Good Luck Mississippi State. Go to hell Ole Miss.

Last entry's answer was 6.