i'm to cool to wear a helmet; even if i do have a beautiful head

I feel like doo doo today. But I sure don't look like doo doo. Heck, I always look good. Just today, I don't feel very good at all. I'm probably sick. If I wasn't such a loyal employee and very dedicated to doing my job, I'd be home right now, in bed.

Some lady just walked in my office area, looked around, then left. She was chewing gum and wearing a red knit jacket. If anyone reading this knows anything, tell her to watch out.

My roommate slept 13 whole hours on Sunday. Got home about 1ish Saturday morning and I went to bed and I assume he did too. Couldn't see any lights on in the living room from under my bedroom door. I got down on my hands and knees to check. Woke up Sunday morning, went to church, he was asleep. Came home, had some lunch, he was asleep. Watched the Astros, they lost, he was still asleep. Watched the race with 88 laps left, he was still asleep. 2:45 pm finally got here, he emerged from his cave. I have never seen anything like it before.

I always think it's funny when my supervisor talks about putting his "Butt Head Cap" on. This is probably not a laughing matter.

The guy, from work, that plays in the band and is supposedly a body builder always eats spaghetti for lunch. It never fails, between 10:35 and 11:00 he waddles over to the microwave, sets it and leaves. Then about 10 minutes after it's done he remembers that he put spaghetti in the microwave. Everyday. Well, a numerous amount of the days throughout the month he does this.

I got a bicycle on Friday. That afternoon I rode it for about 2 hours. Just riding and riding. Saturday I rode it all the way to downtown and around the ballpark. I only fell off twice. First, was when I was trying to jump a curb downtown. The back tire couldn't quite make it over the curb and threw me off. I probably looked like a daredevil blazing the sidewalks.

The previous paragraph sounded like a 3rd grader wrote it.

The lady in the red knit jacket is back. I don't know what to think of her. She is going to be sitting at the desk next to mine.

What brave-hearted Scottish patriot led soldiers to a defeat of the English at the Battle of Cambuskenneth in 1297?

Last entry's answer was Brutus.