it's getting hot in here

I hung up a sock for Christmas.

Today I really wish I had invented Powerball. Who decided to start Powerball? "Hey Paco, can I borrow 6.2 million dollars to give away?" Ummm... "No, no, people will pay me money to guess 6 numbers and win the money."

This morning I found a new feature on my alarm clock's snooze. The snooze will turn itself off after so many snooze resets. I was late for work. Again.

In our NASA drawings at work we have to reference materials and parts with a cage code. Each cage code is assigned to individual companies. On my drawing I had to put a cage code in for a specific part. Apparently I made a typo on this cage code, replacing what should be a S with a 5. As a result the new cage code with the 5 was referenced an adult store.
Cage Code 49S503 = NASA Material Store
Cage Code 495503 = Adult Super Store (This is the code I put on the drawing)
One of the head guys brought this to my attention. I asked him why an adult store was in our system. Head Guy said, "Maybe someone needed some lube."

Well after four paragraphs of thinking about I've decided to let you in on the secret. I did not wear the space suit Friday, did not don the suit. Instead I only halfway put it on. Got the LCVG (Liquid Cooling Ventilation Garment, the white garment with the tubes) and the LTA (Lower Torso Assembly) on, waddled over to the HUT (Hard Upper Torso, the chest part) and started sliding my way upward. Got one arm in, the other in, and head, then it ended. I was beginning to get stuck. Wait, was stuck, couldn't go any further. I was thinking to myself, how do these astronauts do this with no gravity? This is tough! After some more pushing and even more pushing, it became obvious there was no way I was going to make it in. "Look guys, I'm not going, it's too small." I mean, I'm not a fat guy or anything, athletic build body type. Broad shoulders, because I do work out, ladies. So I pull out and they went looking for a large HUT, because obviously the medium wasn't going to fit my muscular torso.

Thanks to about 4 of us learning how to size the suit we screwed up my size. I'm apparently a large HUT size. That's right ladies, I've got the muscular chest. So the tech comes back to inform us that the large HUT is gone and in use somewhere else. I'm standing there in the astronaut pants burning up because this thing is freakin hot. That's what the LCVG is for, to cool down the person inside the suit. These things are very well insulated. So I'm told after about 5 minutes of standing there that I can take them off, sweat running down my face like a fat kid trying to wear a space suit. I get everything off, put my clothes back on and go sit in my corner and sulk. Ok, I didn't do that but I wanted to. What a day.

Does that suit make my butt look big?

Clark: Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on it's way in from New York City.
Eddie: [after a pause] You serious, Clark?
-Christmas Vacation

What team hired the NFL's first professional cheerleading squad, in 1972?

Last entry's answer was fear of vomiting.